|Column nr. 10 2009|
A California late season fly that almost always performs if the hatch gods allow ! Pale Morning Dunn, Ephemerella infrequens is one of the most popular often imitated patterns here in northern California and around the fly fishing galaxy. Simple to tie and usually only created in the smaller barbless hook size’s, lighter color the better. I like to tie many versions of this old standard in either light yellow or slightly darker to be used depending on the time of day and available light.
I have used this pattern on the fabled Fall River in upper California by letting it drift downstream into rising trout in the clearest artesian waters. It will need a bit of dressing to keep it up high and visible which is why one ought to tie it with as much hackle as possible to enhance the float time of a tried and true performer.
Brothers Of The Long Rod Mythology Baby!
No question the humble PMD is often confused by hungry trout for any number of insects including mosquitos, nats, flies etc. In upper California where temperatures can vary greatly within a twenty four hour frame one can work a well tied PMD under almost any dry fly conditions. Much mythology exists in regard to where particular fly patterns were originally created with either chalk stream early New England or the English countryside bucolic old gents in tweed suits and so forth.... My life in fly fishing and tying has taught me one fine lesson, patterns in general evolve and are rarely the original thought of one person. Of course exceptions exist as with the famous clouser minnows imitations (pure genius!). Indigenous native peoples in north America and around the world in the Amazon and the Mekong Delta Vietnam created many ingenious methods to catch wild fish including nets, long poles with sharp triple spears baited with red feathers and chicken guts were used very early in man’s hunter gathering history. I think its typically glib self serving egoistic Bullshit that modern man takes so much credit for fly fishing techniques and original innovation, a myth crimefighters!. Our far more qualified educated ancestors (seasoned experts with a few million years of practicle experience) forgot more about attracting wild fish then any living or deceased fly fisher egoist could imagine period!
Wolf Ginger Pale Morning Dun
Hook: Barbless # 14 # 22
• During serious Ephemerella hatches my darker colored pattern is most effective!
Old School (PMD)
Hook: Barbless # 14 # 22
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
This episode dedicated to Detective Gary Hunter SFPD.
Day two of Fletcher Quill’s United Socialist States Supreme Court Confirmation being broadcast via HD radio hosted by radio phenom Jimmy Ferguson has become circus like after the first session ends in a LSD induced stupor! Quill’s long time running mates Slash & Keith Richards spiked the drinking water pitchers inviting Chaos and his son’s Fate and Chance to intervene. Just as the morning proceedings begin with the next character witness in strolls America’s latest power duo dressed in electric jail house orange jumpsuits, it’s the "Chronic Whang Brothers".
Hail The Chronic Whang Brothers
Silence stills the crowd as Justice "Whang" Thomassss and Snoooop "Chronic" Doggg are shucking and jiving and doing a little hip hop dance weaving their way to the first row singing this ditty, "Um Bop a do- um bop a do ba de dow!!! Quill looking like he may make a bow - Coming in my house right now!!! Welcome to the dog pound bow wow wow......" Chair Patrick Lahey smacks his gavel and calls for order as the crowd goes wild and the chair thumping back beats begin in ernst. " ladies and gentlemen please some decorum here this morning, my head is killing me from yesterdays insanity! Welcome Justice Thomassss, for a guy who never speaks during oral arguments you are electric this morning Sir. Snoop would you please keep the superman spliffs down low until we get underway this morning, much to cover.
HD RADIO LIVE!!!
"Good morning America, what a start to the 2nd day of Fletcher Quill’s Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings! I cannot describe the mayhem that ensued here moments ago as Snoop "Chronic" Doggg rolls in with his new partner in higher lower crimes Justice "Whang" Thomasss ditty bop into their front row seats. What a show resplendent in electric orange jumpsuits. Fletcher Quill and his entourage of dead & alive rock, blues giants appear cool as a Kansas City breeze. Though things are heating up all ready in the back three rows where Quill’s core supporters are milling around. This Confirmation hearing reminds me of my annual " Big Fat Dumb Ass White Guys Barbecue Drool Off " Nothing but good clean American fun ya’ll. Now then looks like we are about to get under way this morning as Chair Lahey calls the 2nd character witness from Quill’s early years. Let me apolagize I’m afraid The Chronic Whang Bros have been lighting Fat Boy Superman spliff after spliff and contact highs are now impossible to avoid!!! Oh boy, Quill’s gaggle of X main squeezes are up and in each others perfect faces- looks like this could get ghetto quicker then Kanye (Total punk ass dumb ass) West at the VMA ugliness.. Chair leahey attempts order for a second time."
The Victoria Secret Effect?
"Lets begin this 2nd morning of the now legendary Fletcher Quill Confirmation hearings with a deep and solemn loving brother to brother moment of silence for the Liberal Lyon of The United States Senate Teddy Kennedy. Now then you awfully scantily dressed young woman in the back row there. My god your almost naked in those postage stamp sequined ensembles and by geezez I’m afraid I’m getting serious blood flow over here! (Contact high?) You must be General Quill’s entourage? Ok then now that my ancient unit has been resurrected, Detective Gary Hunter would you please make your self available for further questioning Sir. Next witness will be Mr. Quill’s life long Marine Corps associate and dear friend General Duke Parker. Sir I’m honored to share this historic morning with a real live fire breathing American Bad Ass Decorated Recon General. Will you begin with your first memories of your fellow Marine?"
"An honor to be here speaking for Fletcher as I have been in his company and friendship on the ground in hostile circumstance carrying and using weapons as boys in places like South East Asia Vietnam 1965-66. I was his age 17 when during and attack at the Danang Air Base where we were both stationed was fully underway. We were both green new boot Marine’s Private (Do what your told!) First Class the lowest rung. We were up and throwing a lot of lead at contingent of Charlies more adventurous at about 3am. I had my hands full trying to protect the airplanes and choppers. Suddenly I looked over at my new pal from San Francisco Irish bad ass Quill was pulling one of our own boys from under Quill’s two and half ton troop transport truck where he was thought to be hiding instead of fighting. Fletcher was bitch slapping him with one hand and firing his 45 caliber pistol with the other, a life long friendship was born in boiling fucking Marine hand to hand that early Vietnam first contact morning!"
"Your record and General Quill’s do not reflect half the adventures you fell into during that war’s first years! How about one more charactor revealing tale General Parker? "
"One morning Circa early 1966 Vietnam Special Forces Outpost Delta we were assembled waiting for the days orders, who did what and who rode with which truck driver into what operation. When it came time for Fletcher’s truck to be loaded with troops a weird thing went down. No one, I mean none of the 40 or more fellow jarheads would ride with Quill? The First Sargent had to order people to ride with the crazy San Francisco Irishmen. His front seat was covered in live frag grenades, ammo belts, chunks of CR white lightening plastiqe’ explosive fused and ready to go. Two sawed off twelve gauge shot guns and various assorted weapons. He had a reputation for driving insanely fast always and jumping into any ambush balls out grenades out both windows ready to roll! It scared the hell out of the other boys. He was crazy and did his 14 months like the bad ass you see here today. No bullshit Quill one of his Corp nicknames. And Two Step! That’s what you got if you messed with the San Fancisco Irish Bad ass Sir. That boy was born locked and cocked..."
"Interesting General Parker in as much as General Quill’s early enlisted record shows long periods of AWOL and two courts martials resulting in four months Hard Labor Treasure Island Marine Brig (Prison) in 1968? Yet our Supreme Court Nominee goes to college becomes an officer and morphs into the war hero we see here today? How in your opinion Sir is that possible?"
"You asked about Fletcher’s character? In the 45 years I have known this Irish bad boy not once has he charged anything with his mouth his Royal Irish Ass couldn’t cash!!!!!"
Jimmmy F. Jumps in for his Fan’s
"Man its getting down and dirty day two folks with General Quill’s history coming into focus! Oh boy looks like "The Chronic Whang Brothers" are getting the proceedings moving with another Hip Hop Rap dance routine...."
CHRONIC WHANG BROS!!!
"We don’t care he ain’t squeaky clean baby!- We don’t care he ain’t female and Hispanic ! Quill’s right for the fight- Boom Shack Alaka -Boom Shack Alacka...."
"Chair Leahey is bopping weaving back and forth just like all the lame ass teachers and parents who didn’t want our young President speaking to America’s school kids. Excuse me fan’s another eruption is happening on the floor. It’s Snooop "Chronic" Dogggg in Keith Richards face, lets listen in? "Kansas City Deep Astronaut Booom Digital Mike Exclusive Live on KCRN BABY!"
"Glimmer Man, Dude you and the Mickster gotta kick some coins to the BEST guitar player the Rolling Stones ever had baby! Mick Taylor is living in a card board box destitute !"
"Yeah, yeah we know about it, light this spliff homey. Soo you think Quill is going get this gig?"
"Don’t know man. Hey did you see ACDC in San Jose California last week? They killed, I still can’t hear? Then the Dooby Bros at the Fillmore West, insane vibage.. You hang with that Jackass West Dude?"
"Fuck no, looks like another witness about to spew his guts, who the fuck is that Radio turd Jimmy what his name?
"Thank you General Parker for your candid historical observations. If no one has more questions for the General? Now a witness in regard to your legendary fly fishing and fly tying exploits. Please try and control your selves gentlemen as we welcome 27 time Vogue Magazine Cover Girl ESPN Fly Fishing Hostess and General Quill’s long time friend the ethereal Karen Graham."
ENTER THE GODDESS
"Ms Graham would you enlighten this Hearing with your first observation of General Quill within the safety of his own milieu, fly fishing, fly tying, wading rivers, his outdoors men life? For the record Ms. Graham is wearing a stunning khaki perfectly tailored safari outfit that displays nicely her ethereal presence among us blithering drooling pathetic males...."
"Ahhhh, thank you Senator I think? I do recall first reading afew of Fletcher’s early fly fishing adventure tales on the world wide web. He did have an unusual command of some archaic west coast slangster sort of language imagery I found juvenile and mildly interesting."
"You two became friends over the years is that correct?"
"He does have a kind of hypnotic spider web quality that worked on my southern self enough fostering a casual endearing friendship to blossom yes."
"In your company madam was General Quill ever anything but a perfect gentleman ? And if you would expand on your fly fishing adventures with our esteemed nominee?"
"We beat the clear artesian northern California Fall River natural spring fed waters to death for a few memorable days some years ago. Now that I think about it that Kansas City radio hombre’ may be right? Quill could have been on something as he caught few fish and talked my perfect ear off!"
Enter Spirit of Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis
"I have had just about enough of this little stroll back into west coast hippiness this morning! Do any of you wanna be scholars in attendance recall my words on the greatest dangers to liberty?" Greatest danger to liberty lurk in the insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning but without understanding." General Quill is surley no more or worse qualified then any Justices I have seen in the last fifty years! Scalia a sad pissed off perpetual buzzz killer, kind of kid I would have slapped around. This black "Chronic Whang Brother" Thomass ought to have been sent to jail for his conduct according to several witness’s. Now thank Christ the Latino kiss ass didn’t make the squad. Another totally useless entitled female wind bag the court does not need!"
Jimmmy F, Radio KRCN live Baby!
"Now then that was sweet, the old ghost blows in and kills just kills.... Wow makes me think about that suckling pig we barbecued last Sunday, hell his rear end was a perfect likeness of our new secretary of state Hellery before the old nip and tuck doctors had a field day. Tooo bad they could not carve down that rear end of hers hey radio fans? Looks as if we are about to rap this 2nd incredible day. I’m exhausted we have another day to go! Please send my driver, no way I can get behind anything that moves....... Stay tuned HD fans as we begin day #3 in this Circus of Surreal Earthly Delights. (CSED) Wait a moment a free for all is in progress, it’s Quill’s X girlfriends Mother Serena, Gold Monkey Blond & his latest squeeze Nurse Caron are fully involved in hair pulling, ghetto screaming and are now being separated not before several wonderful 36 D or better chesticles are proudly displayed. Dam, I love this job and America!!!!"
(Day three Confirmation a slam Dunk ? Quill’s Bioooches out of control finally?)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2009
For Dan Fallon's earlier
and later columns;