|Column nr. 11 2009|
"A man may fish with the worm that
hath eat of The King, and eat of the fish that fed of the that Worm"
Strong biting winds and at times serious cold welcome those sportsmen seeking 15-20 inch trophy trout at perhaps California’s number one big trout breeding Lake located at 5,100 feet Eagle Lake is unique! Lake record is 11lbs 4oz with daily catches in the four to six pound range. Of course a high price can paid for those willing to endure high winds and at times serious cold weather. Eagle lake located in northeastern California is not known as an ideal fly fisher venue. Trolling deep waters as the summer heats the surface water is standard operation. Though big trout can be caught in the shallows very early and late with wolly buggers, leeches and various needlfish patterns, fly fishing is not the big attraction. I ‘m not a fan of any kind of trolling, its boring dull work. No thinking needed, just watch for a bump and yank the rod?. Not a fly fisher kind of angling for sure.
On the positive side this good size natural lake created by two highly alkaline glaciers with 100 miles of shoreline is breath taking as the sun comes up one can find great fly rod action on the many jetties and shallows only early and late. 5 weight rods or better with medium to light tippits working leeches work well. The clear water will take you to school and you will only have an hour or so of action just after the sun rises and before it sets. Fresh water shrimp, leeches, red sided sucker fish are natural food. One would be wise to hire a guide to fine tune any fly work and learn the local techniques. I used wolly buggers and leeches with some success.
Trophy Trout Survive High Alkalini Habitat!
How exactly have trout adapted, thrived in inhospitable extremely high alkaline waters? A true mystery indeed in as much as studies have been done where trout from other areas introduced to high alkaline habitat die quickly? Eagle lake trophy trout have over time developed metabolic, oxygen processing systems that somehow (we don’t know exactly?) filter out this high alkaline cocktail and experience incredible rapid growth rates in a magical mix of abundant natural food and cold clear highly oxygenated waters flowing from many natural springs. This lake up high is an example of natural order adaptation at its finest.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
"La’ tout n’ est qu’ ordre et beaute’, Luxe, calme et volupte." Everything there is Simply order and beauty, luxury, peace and Sensual indulgence....
Charles Baudelaire 1821-1867
General Fletcher Quill’s Supreme Court Confirmation hearing day three is ready to begin as Chair Patrick (Hat Trick) Lahey starts banging his gavel while HD Radio Phenom Jimmy Furgason sets up his space uplink dish. The first two confirmation hearings did not go especially well because the atmosphere has been effected and spiked by Bad Boy rockers Slash & Glimmer Twin Keith Richards dumping copious amounts of Bear Owsleys best brain cool aid......
"Excuse me order please, some semblance of decorum would be refreshing! This morning we are honored to have a breath of Summers Eve among us pathetic mortals Ms. Sharon Stone Movie Star Goddess Vison. Lets begin with General Quill’s spiritual friend confidant Man God the 14th incarnation of his highest of Holy Men, the Dali lama."
Before his highest of high can take the stand a commotion is breaking out in the rear as the double doors bust open and an ungodly pair of the lords most exotic creatures suddenly appear!
MANDAN (Legless) MAYAN BEGGER
In slides literally on his special rigged skateboard accompanied by his main squeeze handler pusher bitch the very olfactory challenged Bogota Bitch both dressed homeless beggar chic and causing gagging among the startled shell shocked audience!
"Please Sir allow me to speak about this wonderful caring man who has helped me so many times."
"Sir, you are not approved nor on my witness list this is most unusual ! Does anyone else in this room smell that dead old fishy salty smell? Dam, is that your breeze that we smell? Man, that is strong! Ok Mr. Mandan speak your peace."
"I’m the General’s long lost artificially seminated created son from Bogota. General Quill left his supercharged sperm all over Bogota and begat myself and several other beggar offspring. We send him 20% of all panhandling fundage. He invests the coins and keeps us in food and shelter."
"Man, that fishy smell is too much! Please whoever is smuggling dead mackerel take it out of this proceedings now! Mr. Mandan your assistant has not said a word Sir?"
"I will speak, your General Quill used to come to Bogota to collect rare feathers for his fly tying. We loved to see his small plane landing because his pockets were full of candy! " " Man, I wish old Justice O’ Connor were here this morning, he would have nailed what that wild fishy odor is? Ok Ms. Bogota Bitch, are you aware a large swarm of flies have been following you this morning?" "I’m known as the Bogota Bitch because I bring havoc, ofactory insult and general misery where ever I roam. My legless lover and I steal, lie, cheat, invent undonkulous ribald tales full of lies and and and..."
"Enough sit down or leave this Confirmation you two Geeks from Hell, I know the fishy smell belongs to you no question! Back to his Highest Holiness The Dali Lama. Sir please elucidate your thoughts on General Quill and his character?"
HD RADIO LIVE! (http://www.outdoortrailsnetwork.com)
Here we go Radio fan’s world wide, it’s Day#3 final look at this American legend and his honestly rather bazzar meanderings. Hell, this boy is kinky and has more female flesh in his face then old soon to be retired Hugh Hefner (Playboy Empire Finnito!). In my mind even X Pres Bubba couldn’t carry this hombre’s Trojan stash people! The Dali lama is adjusting his robes and trying to get that endless perpetual loving grin under control before the confirmation questioning heats up. Before I forget, rumors of Mr. Obamster our current Black Messiah easing on in here this morning have to be false. The Bamster as General Quill refers to him has got to be busy coming up with excuses to turn down that complete BULLSHIT Nobel Peace Prize? What fucking peace, he hasn’t done shit! Nothing, nothing at all but rattle on like that car creep that sold me my new King Kong Cab 4 Wheel drive with special barbecue built in the bed, in the friggin bed? Ok, here we go, lets throw it to his obviously High Holiness, the Dali lama....."
ENTER ONE COOL MAN GOD!!!!!!!
"An absolute honor to speak with you Sir I speak for all of us here this morning. Please tell us how you and General Quill first met and what his friendship has meant to you?"
"I first saw the much younger Fletcher Quill sitting on his small houseboat on Gate #5 in Sausalito California perhaps in 1969 or 70?. He was fresh from his Vietnam adventures and was writing a screen play with my old friend the Anglo philosopher teacher Allan Watts. Over the many years Fletcher has performed miracles for my people and I. His annual kite flying contest idea has changed our global position and eased the insane strangle hold of the Chinese significantly! May I have a glass of water please? Excuse me what on earth is that horeendous fishy odor?"
Rock Star Water boys!!!!
Slash & Keith bounce in with fresh (?) water pitchers for all as the so far low key Chronic Whang Brothers this morning dressed in subdued plumb matching work out clothes. Justice Whang Thomas is wearing a phat real gold plated hubcap from his carnon fellow Justice John Paul Steven’s vintage 1962 Volkswagen Beetle! Whang’s new partner in hip hop slop poppin and floppin Snooop (Chronic!!!) Doggggg ditty bops to the dias and issues this proclamation to a stagnant nation on this auspicious occasion.
"Man, don’t like steppin on my main Man God’s time ya’ll (thank you Kondi West Bitch!)- But me and Justice Whang have been wondering if this Kangaroo Court will look into what company is drug testing the Nobel Peace Prize boys and how much new cash has been dumped in their ATM’S????? Giving the Bamster that Bullshit award is like rewarding Balloon Boys Father with a Reality Show!"
"Ahhh Mr. Dogggg, this is not a public forum Sir, please sit down and let the Dali Lama speak. Dam, someone make a call to the Farm out in Fairyland Californication and get Nurse Jerry and his Female Personal Hazmat Hygiene Crew(FPHHC) out here pronto!"
"Dali Sir, is it true General Quill infected your young monks with his psychedelic enhanced chanting sessions? And that his time at your monastery has been hailed as the arrival of Bacchus?
"This water taste metallacky like the old creek that ran near my Palace in Tibet before the ruthless destruction began by my sad, lost, perpetually confused occupiers wearing red stars.... My eyes are suddenly alive with colors and streaks just as I recall when Fletcher Quill and his gang of misfits invaded my shrinking kingdom! That fishy smell will limit my time here this morning Sir."
"Thank you for your time and private thoughts your Holiness. Next witness a last chat with General Quill’s life long friend San Francisco Detective Gary Hunter. Detective please one last very important question submitted by all the sitting Supreme Court Justices. Can you confirm or deny your life long friend and you have taken every psychedelic drug known to man in mass quanaties ?"
"No question we put a large check mark in any mind travelers toxic must do list! But, my Pal Fletcher has some how found his way here? Is he a notorious no shit taking, life taking, heart breaking Recon Marine General? Yes. Has he excelled in every task, university, vast published work on both art, fly fishing, poetry and his Military life! His time as this countries Secretary Of The Interior speaks for itself! (what does that mean exactly??) His many books including the highly criticized and controversial series; " Care And Feeding Of Your Blond " And of course his work in the other worlds of spirits and ghosts..... If this court has ever had a sitting Justice with one sixth of Quill’s success and history please enlighten all of us?"
"Thank you Detective Hunter, I think this hearing can come to a close unless anyone has questions for the witness’s before they are excused?"
Spirit Of Jerry Garcia Illuminates!
"Wow, this water is VERY fresh! Thanks Slash my dead head feels so much better. A few random Dead thoughts me LSD enhanced audience. This stale ass court divided into opposing factions reminds me of the old Haight Street Hang out Pigpen and Bobby Weir used to hang out in. The Panhandle Donut Shop was geek central baby! This court has the boring spirits John G. Roberts (snore!) Ms. Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Party Starter Not!) And Tony (I’m the party!) Kennedy.... This gang could easily replace the wax museum figures with their electric personalities.
Me old running mate Quill will liven up this gang of book ends like Janis Joplin took care of our brother Pigpen. Man that fishy smell is rekilling me, gotta bounce...."
The Supreme Court Confirmation audience is now huddled in one corner of the vast chamber as the newly arrived Female Hygiene Hazmat Team headed by Nurse Jerry attempting to isolate and contain the wiggling Bogata Bitch whose VAJJ is now visibly smoking and starting to make discernable bubbling noises.
"Everyone please remain calm my men and I have dealt with this Vulva phenomena back at the Farm, rarely does it get any worse then ugly smoky stinky. This will be easy breezy lemon squeezy..."
Suddenly and without warning the Bogata Bitche’s VAJJ explodes into ten million nasty red drippy pieces saturating both the audience and the walls - The stench is otherworldly indeed!!!!
HD Radio Recap
Man oh man, exploding female private parts! How much more surreal can it get, what a finish here this morning! Outstanding late action reminds me of the time my annual " Big Ass Dumb Ass White Boys Barbecue Drool Off " ended in insanity. Six of the range raised game hens exploded because they had been eating blasting caps along with worms and stuff. That was ugly but not as smelly. It seems the Bogata Bitch’s partner the Mandan (legless) Mayan Beggar is slowly scooping up all the rancid tissue to bring back to the pack of stray dogs that raised Bogata back home in the Bogata ghetto. Will General Quill be conformed? Will any of us ever recover from the madness of these proceedings? If Quill is confirmed, what the Hell will become of this stagnant gang of egoists? No idea friends, its back to Kansas City for me. God Bless all of you out there in HD Radio land. God Bless what’s left of the Socialist States of America."
(A new Supreme Court Justice is ordained ? Maybe General Quill will be nominated for the Nobel?)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2009
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