|Column nr. 1 2010|
World class diversified dry fly action sportsmen will never forget awaits those who sample the outstanding accommodations at either Estancia del Rios or Cinco Rios Lodges Patagonia Chili. Located in the Asye’n Region a truly diversified dry fly venue for discriminating fly fishers. Cinco Rios Lodge nestled on the verdant banks of the Rio Simpson River features gourmet Chilean cuisine, expert seasoned guides and all the dry fly action you can handle. Land of Pumas, Glaciers, open Pampas, breath taking peaks, Blue green fjords, land of endless winds.
One becomes quickly overwhelmed with the pure clean air and lack of crowds upon arrival. Meandering spring creeks full of hungry trout criss cross the Patagonic Pampas while perfect crystal clear virgin waters glisten in the rainforest! A sensory overload for nature lovers of all persuasions. Wild Brown Trout, King and Coho Salmon opportunities round out this world class fly fishery.
Rio Simpson most famous river in the Ayse’n area resplendent in 15-22 inch Brown Trout, many caught near the lodge. Exciting early mornings drifting for trout up to 30 inches, King Salmon caught in excess of 45+ pounds. Mayfly and Caddis hatches explode as you enjoy the misty Andes Peaks in the background. Your expert guides pointing at fat wild rising trout mild weather gentle winds outstanding dry fly action.
Rio Emperador Guillermo crown jewel in a crown overflowing with choices has bestowed 100+ trout to more then one fortunate fly thrower. Languid clear pools and bubbling ripples full of 14-18 inch trout fly fisher Mecca indeed!
Rio Desaque River is the recipient of Lago Caro’s drainage (Expensive Lake). Big shouldered Browns and overweight Bows dwell in this natural trout nursery. Trout over twenty inches are common in this more remote deeper water fishery where many trophies bragging fish gorge. Jet boats work this remote river with excellent sight fishing opportunities and close to shore dry fly action mornings and evenings. If one considers the eclectic dry fly waters available this fly venue is indeed a bargain. Nature lovers, Bird watchers, serious fly fishers consider Patagonia on your dream fly adventure list.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
”All things, all images move slowly Within
Newly ordained Supreme Court Justice Quill watches the orange northern Ireland rising sun light up his beloved castle Raven’s Haven holding his cat Timba. Guests have been arriving as staff prepares for the Welcome Home Feast featuring fresh Irish seafood, wild Peyote mushrooms, imported African Psychedelic Truffles, rare 100 year old single malt scotches, several pounds of Graftganistan Hashish ( gift from Kid Rock ! ), 10000,00000, mikes of pure Owsley Brain-food. Suddenly staff burst in another must take satellite phone call?
”Is this the legendary fly master who morphed into a Supreme Court Justice Fletcher Quill?”
”Yes, this is my private line Sir.”
”This is Cheetah Woods A.K.A., Mr. Uber Clean PGA money engine Justice Quill. You have been highly recommended by our President as Keeper Of The 10 Man-Mints (like the Holy Ten except pertinent to survival of Alpha Hetero males.)”
”Cheetah, nice new nickname in keeping with your reduced international value, your faux feline first name thankfully reduced to a more benign feline armed only with stealth and speed. You are welcome to either join in my welcome home feasting happening this weekend or soon after, your choice, gotta bounce Cheatah, keep it zipped for crying out loud! Oh yeah Dude one quick aside. Did you have two Bitch Handlers keeping all 14 Cum Dumpsters phat with airline tickets and hotel keys? You my fallen friend are a friggin trend setter for Uber Bad Boys(UBB) of any color! Mel Gibson, Ike Turner, Bobby Brown, say howdy to the new Sheriff in town boys!.....”
Master of Raven’s Haven stares at the incredible gold magic cauldron he has been given for thirty days. The vessel capable of serious black magic including Shape Shifting and reviving dead hero’s. Irish morning light spills across Quill’s fly tying desk as he sips and smells Irish Single Malt. His Highest of Holy Dali Lama eases into the fly tower picks up Timba and also begins staring at the magic gold cauldron. Takes a Holyman Monster Bong hit, holds it thirty seconds...”
”I love the peace, serenity that is your castle Fletcher. I know the power of this vessel and the consequences of ill use my old friend. Your life lived in a state of heightened extremis brought this great honor to you. Your life Sir, a life well lived indeed. My young Monks in training still hail your time in Tibet. This gunga is insane Quill, can you send a few pounds home with me? I will leave you a special Mandela for your fly tower floor in exchange! Where did you buy this silver Bong?”
”And the wheel turns, nothing shall stop it nor destroy it, we are bound on the wheel ! We and the stars and the seas.” Robinson Jeffers, California’s only Poet that matters.
taff announce a jet boat has just brought Quill’s latest and most smoking hot love doll Nurse Caron dressed in a demure khaki safari outfit highlighting mountains of jiggling 36 D visuals.... She and her pink leather Gucci luggage are whisked quickly into the Suite furthest away from resident long time Queen Sharon Stone. Staff have had strict intervention orders if things get ugly between these two heart breakers. Cook has prepared two days worth of feasting buffets including wild Irish Grouse sauteed in Garlic Butter/Jack Daniels, San Francisco North Beach Seafood Tomato Bouillabaisse, ten cases rare 1982 Stags Leap Cabernet, 5 cases Glenlivet Single Malt, and thanks to best friends just arriving Slash and Keith Richards in charge of brain soul food. Contributed three pounds of north Grafganistan Ballistic Blue’ Hash Oil. Of course cooks are adding the Owsley Purple to all sauces. The Dali Lama and Quill are joined by resident Queen Sharon dressed in tight black skinny jeans (Camel Toe baby and pink cashmere sweater Nipples hard!). Timba leaps into her arms and begins kissing and meowing... Of course that old pesky Hand Of Fate must throw down on the already about to get insane in the membrane occasion with the Glimmer Twin’s 66th Birthday December 18th, Lord have mercy upon all who dwell within Raven’s Haven...
”Man, I almost forgot! Its Brother Keith’s 66th today, tell staff to turn up the house digital and blast ”Exile On Main Street” Lets make him feel at home. Brake out all the Howling Wolf, Bo Diddly stuff. Find out if Keith is awake yet? Time to hang with my brothers.”
Spirit Of Jerry Garcia
”Happy Birthday Glimmer Twin, Son no living Old Fart Rocker (OFR) can get up in the morning until they are told your still above ground Mr. Excesssssss. How much Blow? How much Smack? How many Shroooommmmsssss?, How Super Man HIGHHHH can one human get and stay for how fucking long Keith? No one, no one but you know how to work that Secret Dope Decoder (SDD). Jimmy Morrison, Hendrix, Janis, an army of early departures who played alittle too hard with Mr. Brownstone and his cousins! Lets see, you fall out of a Palm tree, Brain Surgery, while staying higher then Spiderman can climb. We here at the Pantheon Of Excessive Behavior (PEB) Salute you Sir. A life lived in the absolute extremis. Lets not fooogett Baby! Over 400 songs written and performed world wide for over forty years. More then one billion smacker’s have greased the Glimmer Twins ATM. It appears doing the Bad Boy Buggy (BBB) all over the planet has paid mega-huge hey Keith.
When Pigpen and Bobby Weir and me ran the early 60s Frisco Haight Street psychedelic mine field gobbling massive quantities of whatever we could find !Just an average tour day for our Hero with DNA stained with the blood of Bacchus and Dionysus. Yes, today is as special as the birth of 666 Mr. Crowley or Merlin or Pan or Elvis or Jimmy Morrison or any of the Brothers of Life lived In Extremis (LLE). Hail the Chief of Chief’s, we salute you Sir... Gotta Bounce, hey man some one else from the next world wants to say hello.” Brian (Real heart of the original Rolling Stones!!) Jones.
”Keith my main guitar playing owner of the Stones sound period! Miss you Mate,. I don’t want you to loose anymore sleep thinking I was the original innovator, instrumentalist, experimenter of blues rock. You have to accept my unique talent like you and Mick came to grips with first back stabbing poor Ian cause he didn’t look rocker enough? Then you find Mick Taylor who played faster, better, more complex dead on blues rock then almost anyone, he blows out! Ain’t it all about knowing limitations and accepting others have as much or more talent? Any way, it sucks in the other world Pally. Your due here pretty soon with Jerry lee Lewis last man standing. Better settle up with Mick Taylor before he dies under the card board box he sleeps under these days! Make that right my friend, your Karma will love you for it.”
”Brian Jones, excellent hearing from you long gone genius boy! I remember that Mandolin sound you laid down. Keith laughs and says, He was some kind of Female Magnet Wanker( FMW ). When we was just poor starving Lads living in a rat hole boarding house. We all used to laugh at Brian washing and drying his perfect hair four or five times in a row to get it exactly where he liked it!”
”Ok, Ok I hear all the Brian Jones Bullshit. Look here Mates he was a bit of prick in many ways. Yeah he had more talent then any of us no question. He was so self destructive, knew he would never see 30 let alone mid 60s, no fucking way!”
”Listen Keith, its your Birthday Pal, so lets get a crazy Blues Jam working after I settle in my personal Nurse. How else do we celebrate Glimmer Twin? Besides I haven’t played my new Hohner E Key Harps yet in my cool Supreme Court black robes. Feeling like Little Richard after he came back from gospel preaching. Man, when I think about you killing that guitar all over the world for over 40 years. Reminds me of Poe’s Poem Israfel.
”That Israfel’s fire is owing to that lyre By which he sits and sings- the trembling Living wire of those unusual strings.” Edgar Allen Poe 1809- 1849
”Is this our squeaky new rooky Supreme Court Justice Fletcher Quill AKA Quilly, Flyman, Mr. Wolfishness etc. etc?”
”Madam, this is my private number here at Raven’s Haven northern Ireland. To whom I’m I speaking?”
”Ruthy (Party starter not!!) Ginsburg ring a bell Flyman? Tony Scalia and I are sitting in his new Porsche rolling insane Superman Spliff’s listening to Jerry Lee Lewis’s killer ‘ Last man Standing”. Tony is whining in my ear about keeping you useless and confused long as possible! Welcome aboard Generalismo Fly Boy. We hear your banging both your new big tit blond nurse and Sharon (where are those pesky panties) Stone Fly Fool?” ”You nasty old vibrator dependant hose bag from Hell, did you and T-Man have the boys wire my castle for surveillance national security or some such Bullshit sweet cheeks? Put the fat wop on!!!”
”Fletcher we can hardly wait to have your pathetic non judicial ass for lunch and make you feel at home just like the Irish Housing project from which you some how slid from under into my court.”
”Listen very carefully fat boy and take fucking notes. When you and I meet I want you to repeat these words slowly to little Ruthy if she is not playing with herself, ” First to fight for rights and freedom United States Marine - Semper Fi ” If you ever raise your voice to me or disrespect me in or out of Black mother fucking robes I will yank your chain comprende’ Amigo. You lost the Hispanic liberal bitch and gained another creature all together T-Man. One parting thought grease ball, tell the rest of the boys and girls cool breeze will be blowing in those stuffy conservative chambers, gotta bounce.”
Excuse me Sir, your Nurse Ms. Caron would like to take your Vital Signs if possible?
”Quilly, this castle is huge and sorta lonesome sweety. Do you like this cashmere sweater I wore just for you? While Sharon takes her endless morning shower we can get busy... lets put the right one in your mouth first while I tell you about poor Charlie Sheen going down on domestic violence charges in Aspen this Christmas. Charlie can’t keep the Fire chief in the firehouse either Mr. Blond Magnet. Cheetah Woods has been eating cereal and watching cartoons. Ok, now trade the left one for the right one it’s a little bigger remember naughty boy?”
Dagda Irish Druid Highest Of High Chiefs
”Enough, my Lord man! You have only twenty eight more days to work my magic cauldron then it come back to me! Instead of wasting precious mortal time on doomed subjects like Mr. Sheen and Cheetah Woods you may consider your own destiny Sir. If I may suggest either shape shifting into and ancient extinct giant flesh eating bird/mammal? Or any number of long extinct reptiles equipt with flesh evaporating toxins never seen by contemporary man! Your fate is to take pricktator Putin down before he reaches his goals. Enjoy your resting, feasting, whoring, then take care of bidness Marine.”
Quill remembered his first experience with magic vessels, cauldrons. His great uncle who owned the jetty where his castle Raven’s Haven was built briefly possessed a magic vessel belonging to the great mythical Welsh super human legend Bran the Blessed. He had cooked many dead warriors over night in this incredible huge black and silver cauldron and brought them all back to life! They all lost the power of speech. Animal of choice for most shape shifting was the wild boar armed with razor sharp tusks. Fletcher asks staff to fetch his books on killer Amazonian Tree leaping spiders weighing over four pounds! Nurse Caron is now taking vital signs on Fletcher’s lap while wiggling ala lap dancing. A knock on the door screams trouble as Sharon Stone appears wearing only a black satin towel and a rapidly evaporating smile as Nurse Caron fumbles and fails to quite stuff her left 36 Double D back in its way too small home.
(No where to run, no place to hide! Supreme Court waits like ravenous dogs for new meat!)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
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Written by Dan Fallon © 2010
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