Fly Fishing With Teddy
Rough Rider Fly Fishing Dream
As can often happen to restless day dreaming fly fishing writers when main stream, river trout season grinds to a halt, dreams can become more real if the dreamer spends time studying history and biographies carefully...
"At last awake from life, that insane
dream we take for waking now"
Robert Browning 1812-1889
July 1st 1898 near Santiago Cuba was a bright hot summer morning when Teddy Roosevelt and his famed " Rough Riders " had finally settled into a strong riding cadence with more then five miles to go before fording a stream and beginning the fight to take "Kettle Hill" Through history men who carry weapons often speak of the waiting or the last few miles before chaos takes over and the boredom or the anxiety explodes into conflict of the worst kind!
Stream below Kettle
Teddy Roosevelt a man shorter in physical stature then most of his cowboy, policemen, hunter, outdoors men Rough Riders loved the outdoors and wrote about many of his adventures hunting and fishing, asked the Sargent Major to, "Tell the young Corporal long - shooting riflemen from San Francisco Corporal O'Fallon to ride the point with him" "How the hell were you raised in a city like Frisco to shoot better then most old salts I know Corporal?" "Grandfathers, uncles, older brothers all cowboys, hunter gathering plainsmen or high sea's ship roaming sharp shooters sir. Before I was seven years my dad would take five rifles apart throw the parts in a black closet and tell me, "When you have those rifles put back together in the dark of course-dinner will be waiting for you," "by the time I was nine I could hit running quail at fifty yards with a BB gun."
"Look at that water coming up O'Fallon- I know you brought two of your handmade Bamboo rods, lets work that water and let the horses catch their wind. Sargent Major forty five minute rest and quiet while O'Fallon and I work this water that may be booby
Then entire battle ready horse and foot soldier mounted brigade stopped in the humid Cuban summer to watch from afar their organizer and General that would lead them successfully to take Kettle Hill, then take them across a valley to help take San Juan Bridge, the whole company was sighted for bravery including T.R.
Charge San Juan
"I already strung up this six foot Bamboo I made this spring and you can use this other Bamboo my great uncle used with Chief Sitting Bull- if we stop and take an hour sir-we can get into those rising trout or whatever fish working that surface slime. I just made this green slick silk braided line sir, think you might like these seven foot five weight rods- looks like those are Big Brown Trout ready to hit anything buggy!."
Teddy and Corporal O'Fallon sit and begin tying on # 16 Hairs Ear's and a perfect Black Ant with red abdomen, O'Fallon finishes off dressing each fly as Teddy flexes the Bamboo, "O"Fallon, First Sargent tells me you have men more famous then I in your family history?"
"Well sir not exactly sure about that, my great Grandfather served with General Custer and threw
flies with him on several occasions- he did not go down in the Bighorn Battle was captured and later married one of the Chiefs daughters and began selling hand tied flies from famous Indian Chiefs like Sitting Bull and Grey Wolf and Geronimo. He ended up owning about half of the property called Oklahoma these days."
"I had a great uncle that was at the Alamo and had guided many of the great Mexican generals before the siege and slaughter - he did go down with the troops. Then we had another uncle who had a fly shop in Tombstone where Wyatt Earp and his brothers ruled, he was at the O.K. Corral shoot out and later opened the only full service guide operation near Boot Hill.He maintained the Earp Brothers espically Virgil could throw pretty wide loops and wasn't much for chit-chat as he was famous for knocking people over the head with his six shooter."
"Oh almost forgot about the O'Fallon that rode and fished with General George Washington, some guy named Fletcher Quill wrote a story about their exploits as I recall."
Teddy threw nice long easy loops and was soon hooked up to a 15 inch Brown while his war horse jumped around kicking up dust and making loud snorting noises, "Ok boys lets mount up, I can feel those Cuban's breathing from here!" You smoke cigars O'Fallon?" "No sir, only vice is chasing fish with these bugs I love to tie and maybe shoot a taste when it serves my country sir."
"General I hear your probably going to be President one day- wonder if we might still work a little fly water when that happens?"
say good by to troops
"Tell you what O'Fallon, I'm going to make sure that Yosemite Valley of yours is made into a National Park and make dam sure some fool future President does not go drilling for oil where you and I fool trout young man- one more thing if you keep dropping Cubans at 900 yards- I'm going give you so many metals you'll never get out on a stream again. One more thing Irishmen never try to measure a man's soul, heart by how tall he is. San Francisco Cowboy"s never heard of such a thing?"
"Somebody had to keep all those four legged cheeseburgers well fed and watered till they got turned into dinners General."
"Son, I remember finally getting the time to go out West and get my buffalo head- hell it took me ten days, those herds were all but gone by the time I got a shot, had to be 600 yards down hill with a slight right to left windage, hell of a shot with an old Spencer rolling block!"
"O'Fallon, that San Francisco of your's is about as wild as any Injuns I ever came across, why every cut throat, pick pocket, actor, poet, gambler, horse trader, crimp or sailor, dreamer, palm reader, Emperor Norton, Isadora Duncan, Lotte Crabtree, that old terror of Tombstone Wyatt Earp still jerking that six gun on into his late 40s, and woman of ill repute all seem to end up there is the great mystery of American life."
"Hell the wild old west, that's history finished now- San Francisco California that end of the American funnel, end of the west, a place where last dreams play out like the vanished buffalo herds melting into an endless burning red setting western sun that never dies."
"One more thing Sargent O'Fallon, thats right Sargent, listen always speak softly and carry a Bamboo stick." Kid like you is going to need every equalizer he can get Mr. Fly Fishermen."
George Washington Dry Fly
One of my more infamous
ancestors Phineous James OFallon was given the honor of being the father of our
countries Quarter Master during the French and Indian war in the 1700s.
After Edward Braddock was killed
on the field of honor and George Washington was named Commander of all the Virginia
forces, many days and nights were spent moving from one rural farm position to another.
According to the letters and journals that survived until 1900 when my Grandfather was
born, the General was already known as a consummate outdoors men and avid fly fishermen.
On one particular chilly fall morning according to my Grand Dad, the men were about to
cross a stream on property in eastern Ohio when General Washington stopped the march and
summoned my fly fisher ancestor P.J. OFallon to assemble his favorite **Manzanita 5
weight and tie on a #22 Mosquito the General tied the night before out of found Bald Eagle
"P.J. lets see if we can take
a few of these fine rising trout before we stop for lunch, I want you to head down stream
and splash around a bit and drive the fish up here for your Commander."
"Yes sir, If I might make a
small suggestion sir, that straight red manzanita can land anything this little ole stream
can muster!". Maybe let the fly dead drift with the current and Ill try and
scare em up to you sir." *My understanding is old George caught the fly fishing bug
from a visiting nephew of P.J. OFallons, Tom Fallon whose great grand son my
great uncle Tom Fallon Adventurer is honored with a life size statue in San Jose
The rest of the men pulled out
their tobacco fixings and rolled or chewed while the father of our country played and
landed five 15 inch or better trout that morning, according to my Grand Dad a fiddle
player broke into *** "Old Sue Zanna Dont You Cry For Me" and a gallon jug
of rare Irish whiskey made the rounds... Of course Grand Dad was known to stretch the
truth a taste when he had a taste or two!
*** When exactly was that song written?
Any body know? Before 1800s?
** Only guessing on the type of fly rod,
could have been solid Bamboo I presume?
* San Jose California statue quite
controversial as the adventurer was adventurous and said to be a distant relative of the
Fallon Clan? Locals try and vote to have statue removed every so often, of course Im
quite proud of the old boy!
(Casual reading public beware this
historically suspect anecdote is the first in likely a long series of historical illusions
Written by Dan Fallon © 2012
Fallon's earlier and later columns;
table of contents
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
San Francisco Chronicle Cartoonist, creator of "Farley"
Quill’s long time right hand, man servant, Court Clerk is in a
state of shock as the old Marine General while sitting in Session in
Court grabs him and say’s loudly!, "Drake go outside and get the two
Federal Security Guard’s while I clear this Mother Fucking kangaroo
bought court and have a little chat with my main Boy here, the Fat Man!
The rest of you esteemed over paid dilettante Bitches’s get off those
fat ass’s give me and my Boy here a little special court adjustment
time. Ruthy grab the girls, Tommy you and Kennedy grab the others. I
know this is highly irregular and all that Parliamentary Shit. Ruthy
keep the Press away till this ends."
"Quill, have you lost your pathetic drug riddled mind Justice? I will
not allow you to Hijack my Court Marine!"
Justice Quill walks slowly up to Scalia as the big door’s shut
and its on......
"Leonard Peltier the most famous mis judged American Indian Activist
who did not pull the fucking trigger. Agents who were illegally
instigating a set up shoot out in revenge mode and the subsequent cover
up is fucking over Bitch! I have hard ass evidence from three almost
dead eye witness’s it was a Federal fucking frame up to assuage the loss
of another agent. Bottom line here is even if Peltier did pull the
trigger 30 plus years is enough! Sooo my easily bought scholar friend.
Here is your deal now with me. I have all the shit on you rolling over
on Gore VS Bush, all the shit on your hidden deal to give bizzz the keys
to elections. I have your fucking life right here! Bank transfers, Telex
and cell phone histories, comfuckingprende" We get Peltier out of
fucking jail today, now. Or you fry. Court is now back in Session, read
these papers and cell calls. You have ten minutes before I call your
last Press conference. (Web info and Bio
Silence as fat Boy thumbs through the neat stacks of legal
papers while Quill motions Drake to open the big Door’s and the other
Justices slowly walk in and look at Scalia looking down and mumbling a
change in the mornings agenda. A Writ for Immediate Release and Pardon
Leonard Pelteir will eventually be filed, this Last Stand is over. All
the ancient North American Indian Chief’s can rest in Peace. Perhaps the
final nail in the cruel and unusual punishment and attempted extinction
of the great soul and spirit of the true owners of this land, the
indigenous DNA repositories of the wildness that is America can find a
small moment of Peace and love finally. Enough is enough! Here comes the
"Before we begin with the cases on today’s calender, new revelations
have surfaced on the Peltier case. I move the Court begin working on
reopening this case in line with new evidence that may nullify original
due process. Court Clerk will supervise all aspects and keep the Court
informed. Now Justice Quill’s abrupt actions this morning may be almost
justified, only time will tell. A full Pardon may be the answer if all
is confirmed, now back to today’s work."
Suddenly if Chaos and here Sister’s Fate and Chance were not
enough to charge the atmosphere in the usually boring sedate Inner court
Chamber’s, Drake throws Justice Quill their absolute worst finger sign
meaning holly shit Cowboy! You think its awkward in here now! Here comes
a curve ball almost a s nice as Timmy linscum’s low and inside (Giant’s
Rule the Galaxies!!!).
"Drake, Man, this better be fucking good Dude!!"
"Better then good oh Master of all surreal lives . It appears your
fly fishing Pal Mr. Black Messiah has lost the FOOTBALL!, let me say
that again your highness..." (Foot Ball is the special metal case that
every President carries wherever they go. It contains all the Nuclear
Weapon launch codes that allow Armageddon to begin!)
"Oh my God, I wondered what the fuck that shiny Box with all the
colorful buttons was? Man, I know it was a inner Palace set up by maybe
one of his Admiral’s. Navy Boys are highly pissed he is moth balling the
fucking fleet. And not enough Marine Embassy Guards to go around? Ahh,
this could kill his reelection Drake!"
"I know, his boys are waiting out side for you to escort them to the
Foot Ball ASAP Sir!"
" I regret to inform the this already tattered session National
Security is at stake. My Clerk Drake will inform me of the remainder of
the days work, excuse me Ladies and Dawgs..."
As if the morning did not have enough insanity Quill grabs his shiny
new yellow Lamborgine and screams into his Cell as he tries to hunt down
the fucking Foot Ball!
"Keith, Dude it sounds like the test drive gig you and the boys just
did was like the 2nd coming! Man, the Foot Ball is missing? Did you
accidently pack the fucker with your gear when we left Alaska Buddy?"
"Fuck no! He lost the Foot Ball? Second term by by Baby! Hey man, our
latest "Gloom & Doom" song is a hugefied hit my Brother. Hope you find
the Foot Ball, fucking San Fran Giants Kick asssss!!!! Kung Fu Panda
"Hey Man, the mother fucking Football is more important then fresh
air in a crowded Volkswagen after an Oprah chilli fart cowboy! Where the
fuck is the Football? Dali lama due here in minutes, gotta get Duke
Parker on the horn pronto, Look Glimmer Twin I wanna play in some of
these smaller $20 Buck gigs before o2 Arena and Madison Square Illegal
upon a time?"
"Oh yeah, no worries Yankee Icon. Mick wants you and the Harp on six
of the set list top ten, Midnight Rambler and the Dwayne Almond thing.
Gotta go Man, hope you find the Football before Tues election!"
"This race is so tight it could go to me like Bush vs Gore did! Or
the fucking country goes nuts and revolt time. The perfect storm, full
moon, all the psychic energy is ripe for chaos and her girls to take
over. Look at fucking New York, pulling Gun’s in gas stations, man the
fabric is so thin my friends. Get the Dali Lama on the horn and Duke
Parker ASAP! One more thing Drake I’m almost near General Parker’s
private residence, tell Peltier’s people this fucking Justice is over
the persecution and near extermination of the real owners’s of North
America, Battle of The Big Horn, Alcatraz, Wounded Knee, Geronamo, Crazy
Horse, Grey Wolf, enough is enough before historical revisionists
rewrite this history, The fucking Jew’s use the Holocaust like a magic
wand to justify genocidal asshole behavior, Black’s in slave ships and
American Indians carry a much bigger fucking sack Drake, how is the BM
doing in Ohio? Did he take it and Florida?"
"Still counting Sir. You have multi way pissed off young woman on two
cell phones. The long lost Mother Superior Itallian Goddess wants to
bend your ear now! Sugar Tit’s is livid ten calls in last hour and last
but not least Sharon Stone say’s she has a Hollywood deal made just for
you? BM is not pulling ahead quick enough, he has 180 electoral Votes
and R has 220 his ass getting kicked, fat lady ain’t singing, but, she
is warming up your Honor!"
"Drake, I’m waiting for General Parker to get his ass in the Lambo,
we gotta find the Football Pilgrim? What the fuck I thought the Football
had a G.P.S. locator we could hone in on Man! Drake get me some fucking
Silicon Valley Nerd(SVN) that understands this G.P.S. shit. The BM’s
security boys are behind me in three blacked out S.U.V’s’s all nasty CIA
looking mother fucker’s. Think I’ll pull into Ms. Molly’s Blue’s Bar on
18th and Mission throw down with Buddy Guy playing there tonight Man.
Drake get Buddy Guy on the Horn, no time for Bitch Management! Put them
all in a holding pattern. The fucking Football lost? Parker get in Man,
we got ugly shit to sort Marine! BM lost the fucking Football again
"So fucked up and he is getting that overly tan ass kicked by the
whitest mother fucker I ever saw my Brother! Ok, lets pick up the Dali
Lama he just landed on the roof near that Blues Bar you hang at,
"Son, this is deep as whale shit! Bm’s people are crazy scared it
will get out and cost him the whole fucking Enchilada Cowboy!"
"Here smoke this fatty, African Lion shit grown in eastern Morocco .
Which sand nigger sold us this shit ? You recall Jar Head? The fucking
Football lost. Hey man, if we find it first. We could start World War
"Shut up asshole, Drake just text me the Rare feathers from King
Tut’s party Dress’s are waiting at my Raven’s Haven, me old Irish
Castle. Duke more fly fishing less of this Bullshit. Can’t wait to get
to Monte Carlo and start rehearsals, the boys are waiting. Fucking
As sweet Fate and her nasty sister’s would have it! The room
full of hard core blues lovers and the screaming Guitar vocal’s of Mick
Jagger’s favorite living Blues Legend Buddy Guy rocking the house. His
associate Blues legend in spirit Junior Wells blowing some real serious
Blues Harp like only he could ever do!
"Parker, fuck the Football and I’m real tired of these dark Sunglass
mother fuckers in the slow black S.U.V. on my ass. Hold on we loose
these kids and the we play with Buddy and Junior Marine! You ready?
First I get Drake to tell the Dali Lama use my traveling Crystal Ball
and find that fucking Football!!!"
"Hey Jar Head, just got text, BM is in deep shit if the lack of turn
out in east is cast in stone, he may be fucked and out of a gig! Hit
this pipe load of Dali special Monkey Shit from Nairobi Hashish, it
kills!!! Dude, slow the fuck down Man 150 in two blocks, are you crazy!"
Molly’s Blues Bar is full tilt energy dripping down the street as
Quill and Parker push their way past the door man slip him $200 and head
for the Bar first where none other the Clapton and the Ghost of main
Southern Pal Sky Dawg and three very hot half naked young Blonds tit’s
and nipples hanging out, tiny little skirts ass easy to watch and enjoy,
ahh good to be home.. Buddy Guy spots Quill who has his shiny new gold
Hohner Marine harp in low, low G warming up as he walks toward the
screaming stage the crowd instantly spots the old hard playing Supreme
Court justice, Marine General, hippy pot head, from their 60 inch
digital cable T.V’s.
"All right, ladies and gents his Honor Justice Quill be rocking the
house with us tonight! Lets jump into, " Messin with the kid " then into
, " Stormy Monday". Play that Harp white boy..."
Quill leans into it and the house is on its feet as the old man with
the Gold Harmonica reaches way down low to the bottom, low and slow and
nasty mean. Parker on the secure cell phone is smiling widely and giving
Quill the old thumbs up! It appears the Black House is safe for four
more of the same... He pulled it off, shit economy, perfect storm
helped, the world takes a deep breath. As Quill lays into. " No use
crying " he looks off stage to see the Dali Lama bobbing and weaving ,
Buddy Guy big smile lets Quill take a long solo and blow his sweetest
old Chicago Michigan Ave. Style. Molly’s is rockin, pot smoke so thick
the stage is a blur....
"Dali, any idea where the fucking Football is hiding my main spirit
"Parker, have no idea, not a clue, Quill’s Crystal Ball say’s it may
be somewhere near Alaska scene of last trout fly trip, could be our
friends the north American Indian’s may be in on this? They are so hyped
about the Quill trying to get Peltier out of the slammer anything is
possible. When he gets off stage we must contact the spirits of Spirit
Bear and Grey Cloud for guidance.
"Four more years of the same? Will the forces of change blow into
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
23 24 25 26 27
Written by Dan Fallon © 2012
Illustrations by Phil Frank © 2003
Photos by Dan Fallon © 2012
Fallon's earlier and later columns;
table of contents