|Column nr. 3 2012|
Spend A Week in
A personal message to the three or four people around the world that have for reasons completely unknown decided to follow the fiction serial "Adventure’s of Fletcher Quill all these thousands of years? I have a perhaps once in life time way to throw hard earned money out the window this June 30th - July 7th I will be hosting a unique assembly of near do well expert King Salmon fly fishers at my favorite King Salmon fighting arena www.lakemarie.com. If you want to enjoy the true Alaskan wilderness fly fishing adventure (100 miles from Anchorage) in Grizzly Bear land where Bald Eagles, Trumpeter Swans, Moose and the perhaps one of the few prolific king Salmon runs suited just for expert fly fishers exist? This is the trip to book. Of course the meals and spare time will be spent working the surrealistic shimmering membrane of Fletcher’s everyday reality!
This is your chance (maybe only chance?) to take the author and the King Salmon for a ride into the extreme my friends, Grizzles, Eagles and you and me for endless crazy Dinners, Breakfast and time finding and fighting the toughest wild fish in North America, what do you say Cowboy? June 30th - July7th 2012, you and me and few good friends.
Many stories published about Lake Marie include, "Monster Kings Sweet Bamboo Parts One and Two, 21 Wisemen, and many more can be found at their web address above. Really excited to meet fellow Quillites like you! Join me in June at Lake Marie. Contact John Wilson owner Lake Marie.
Memories of the Lord of the Flies
It has been a decade since the fly fishing world and the international sporting community and I lost perhaps most famous cantankerous, intelligent, fly educated, teacher, Maker of fine Bamboo Fly Rods, knower and liver of all thing truly fly, Walton Powell Lord Of The Flies. An E-Mail arrived last week from a fly fisher named Win Jolly who recited several great Powell stories experienced when he attended a fly fishing school that Walton and his Son Press were hosting up near the Pit River northern California many years ago.
I had the honor of being one of Walton’s last associates, friend, fly fishing Pals while he lived his last days in Fall River California. I spent many hours in the little cabin next to his jet boat. We hung out together and he made one of his last Bamboo Fly Rods and signed it for me, a treasure indeed, Took that little six weight Bamboo to Lake Marie Alaska and caught everything that swims in Powell’s honor, that is how deep I hold the man! Now others saw him as a low tolerance, short tempered irascible character which he was like me. We had no problems spending lots of time talking fly fishing. Here is a great short memory from Win Jolly that in my memories of the Lord Of The Flies says it all. We who are addicted to this sport miss you my old friend.
Win Jolley wrote that he had attended a Powell Fly Fishing school in Northern California, near the end of the day Walton looked around and asked the question, Has anyone not caught a fish? One guy held up his hand. Downstream there was a barbed wire fence that went into the creek. A California Stone Fly hatch was just starting, a few trout were taking the few flies on the water.
Walton tied on a large Stone Fly and made a wonderful long cast and as the fly drifted into the feeding lane gave the rod to the student and said, "Set The Hook" . A nice Brown was landed.
Written by Dan Fallon © 2012
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
"Religion the Opium of the people Baby!"
As the aromatic moist Italian morning air moves slowly up Johnny Galliano’s overly educated nose twitches sensing ancient Frankincense in the air..... last nites revelry included the list of standard must have medications, LSD, Hashish, Nitrous Oxide Poppers, and unbridled fetish riddled heterosexual adventures never to be forgotten, The sitting Pope spared nothing in his attempt to impress the notorious American General and his demented crew! The newly installed Stripper Pole was used profusely with assorted video assists. All parties passed out around 430am as was expected. Two hot calls for Supreme Court Justice Quill, his next hurdle will be the same sex marriage question the court will have to address. Second call from Hellery thanking him for making the right calls and pouring cold water over the Marine Recon video debacle. Quill begins to awake and is greeted with the distinct long, long dead voice of Michelangelo once again illuminating historical facts!
"Remember like yesterday the morning I finally finished that fucking Sistine Chapel ceiling! After the last strokes connected the Lords hand to Adam I drank bottle after bottle of fine Vatican wine that day my friends, indeed..."
"You Sir, known as the master of all Master’s. It is well documented your tortured time doing that Heavenly ceiling while coping with a sitting Pope who wielded great power and influence! Each panel of wondrous work is etched in the soul of those mortals fortunate to have looked up in that Holiest of chapels."
"Time and its attendant worms and mold have twisted the truth about the harm and damage and death religion has inflicted upon an ignorant desperate mortal human race screaming for some version of a fantasy after life much like early cave dwellers millions of years ago."
"Refreshing hearing real history from a main player Sir. In your mortal years many of the ungodly seeds of religious tyranny based on endless guilt and Idol worship were sewn. Of course time has not tainted or blurred the artistic gifts bestowed certainly by the most sublime, perfect lord of Lords. My little time in the American Judicial system has taught me one absolute. Money buys freedom, rarely does it not buy precious freedom."
"You have a fine example contemporary pure raw creativity in Mr. Glimmer Twin him self , a life destined by creative energy in Mr. Rock N Roll... Do you think Mick The Stick will do the 50th Anniversary tour Keith?"
"Sir, you actually give a rats ass what the fucking Stones do this year? We all want to know what you think of the art that came after you and the seminal greats evaporated? Jackson Pollock all the Impressionists, Cubists, and of course my personal favorite Surrealists!"
"All crap my friend, Jackson’s work makes my dead skin crawl, impressionists needed more hard schooling to curb the third grader style Bullshit Quill. At least the Surrealists didn’t give shit and were rabble rousers, provocateurs. Art, real talent died in my era boys, must run, time for my finger hand soak in Virgin Roman waters..."
Vatican Bells signal morning Mass as the Pope and his minders, support crew, dressers begin cleaning him up slipping on the ancient Vestments and its off to St. Petes Basilica baby! His Bishops bow and kiss his tired ass as he meanders among the sorta faithful motioning with his hands the Holiest of pious impressions as the endless lines of obedient slaves grovel at the Head Child Molester Enablers freshly washed feet. Quill and his boys sit in the closed luxury box reserved for Heads of State. They are served wine and the Golden Papal Bong imported from San Francisco’s famed Haight Ashbury neighborhood helps ease the absolute boredom and blatant Hypocracy..... Mass finally grinds down as the Pope escapes with the smell of incense clouds and bowing slaves in rapture once again. The same circus scene plays out year in year out. The atmosphere is quickly changed to Bad Ass Michigan Ave. Chicago as the long silenced voice of another Holiest of all Holy brothers, his Highness Blues Brother John Belushi.
Blues Brother Royalty Baby John Belushi
"Oh yeah, now who is messing with kid baby! Quill and Keith Richards in the fucking Vatican rolling and tumblin hey Boys! Me and Akyroyd used to laugh at the Pope and demented crew. I came here to do one thing and one thing only. You got your Harmonica General Quill ? I got Whitney Houston here with me looking thin but cute and we want you to help us do a medley San Francisco Blues man. Start with , "Can’t Turn You loose : then into, "Shotgun Blues" followed by, "Soulman" then maybe finish up with three Stones Classics you choose Keith. One, two, three, Quill start this engine Cowboy!!!"
"Ahh, John before we start rollin buddy have to ask you to tell us what the time or lack of time is like for a white famous blues Brother at the Endless Blues Pantheon Arena (EBPA) . Whitney you know the whole music lovin world is way down over your cross over. You are missed seriously sad time for all who adore you, lord help that little punk and his fucking Prerogative..."
"Man, nothing but the Blues here Quill, like that song I love, every night I get the Blues, Blues fall like rain.... You give Danny A. A big hug if you ever run into my Blues Brother Quill."
"Your legacy thrives my man, Danny still going strong Radio, clubs, he is all over town like bad habit Buddy... Soul man who are your main hang Pal’s?"
"Howlin Wolf, Willy Dixion, Muddy waters, Albert Collins, all play with me constantly when their not checking on the still living and breathing or loved ones. Little Waltor says hello Quill he loves your Harp work Son. Ok lets get this party started, Quill take us into ," Shotgun Blues."
After six hours of non stop ancient Blues its time for food and rest and if anything at all is left sex.
The Quill crew retires to its own palatial suites carved just above the Sistine Chapel alcove reserved for Heads Of State. Quill leans into the plush leather Papal Thrown replica that adorns the richly furnished Italians who labored for peanuts to build these luxuries for centuries. As usual the sound of Bells, chanting, choirs, and the never ending smell of incense especially Frankincense the oldest and most powerful odor next to pure Amber...
"Quill look at this Buffet of meats, cheese, raviolies, nuts, and a sweet case of 300 year old Irish Single Malt just for you old man, come on smell the Peat , taste the old waters my Boy! And what do we have over here, looks like about a pound and half of Moroccan Black Hashish with an ounce of Hash oil next to the Papal Gold Bong. Quill you want another hit before we close this party down my friend?"
"Thanks Keith, see if Dali wants a sleeper hit and we can shut this down Buddy. What a gas the Pope and his Stripper Pole. Just got and E-Mail Sugar Tits is in Italian air space and will be here by the morning Glimmer Twin, she has three of her main bitches and they will be hungry for company."
Queen Of Hearts Shows Her Uniqueness Sugar Tits
"Quilly my nasty little Back Door Man (BDM) I’m so wet you might think I’m one of those wild trout you spend so much energy terrorizing! Is it too late to roll and tumble old man? Got jet lag and urgent need for ancient old men, comprende?"
"Have already GPS located you , Johnny’s limo is on the way Baby, my little sweet thang, just think of all the nastiness we can create in a new continent little Ms. Tiffany shop aholic. Did you bring those packages I asked you to be sure to bring to me?"
"Yes, the nitrous bottle are with me and all those wonderful flies uncovered in the Archaic melting thing, they are zoo pretty, can you make me Earrings out of them Quilly?"
"Did you bring my crystal ball and Dragon’s Blood amulets? Man, would give anything for real Madagascar Frankincense instead of this awful unpungent Vatican Holy incense.. I have several spells you can help me with as the vibes in this suite are totally copesetic for full Moon spells on a few my worst enemies. Maybe a prosperity spell or two for needy friends in this dead economy. I ought to do a spell for Italy and all of Europe that my Psychic friends and I are positive will explode like a cheap condom."
"I forgot news your Irish Castle Raven’s Haven has been inundated with spirit activity from old Pals long dead Marine’s Vietnam era to Blues legends like your Buddy Muddy Waters and Howlin Wolf. Timba your best feline friend is real busy between the mice and the spirits , he ain’t getting much cat nap time Cowboy!! You and that Cat, that cute obnoxious ball of tan fur, you two are alike in many ways Pilgrim. See you soon Mr, Big Ten Inch."
Life, daily life at the Vatican has not changed since the last brick, statue was glued into place centuries ago... Mostly ceremonial kiss ass brown nosing of the highest most refined kind takes 24 hours a day. The goal of course is to get as close as possible to the sitting Pope. The current Head Child Molester Enabler is the prize for all actions, dinners, writing assignments, what ever the latest urgency for his Holy Father, bang the kiss ass line forms and its who can get the ball over the goal post first Baby!
Secret Assembly of the Senior Cardinals
"What the fuck Alberto you dumb ass! You he wants this Contraception shit clearer the lindsey Lohan’s Monday Pee sample fool. So write this Bull and lets get back to the Web shit for brains."
"Please, excuse’ me Mr. Grease the Pope’s rear end for another brown nose session, this has to at least appear to come from a room full of overly educated old basterds who actually give a shit. Speaking of Giving A Shit! Where the Hell is Cardinal O’Ryan our resident druggy Card from San Diego California, twice busted for smoking shit during the fucking Easter Mass, my main role model Baby..."
"Excuse’ Quill can you hand me this Hashish Box one more time before I have to go, its almost time for lunch with his Holiness who asked me to bring three of your best rolled spliffs if you don’t mind. Soo What new back home in San Francisco General?"
"Same political inanity, insanity..... Board of Supes wants to abolish all Hetero Males who aren’t pussy whipped enough for the overly entitled overly educated Bitches who hold the real power. Its either that bunch or the pathetic gay’s who run what is left of that grand once universal jewel by the bay.... Its all soft and goeey and boring as shit, thanks for asking."
"Before I leave his Holiness wants to meet you in the secret library after lunch. He has his beloved copy of the 3rd Testament with wonderful illustrations of the real Last Supper that was more a celebration of the splendid day dreams caused by ingesting copious amounts of fine wine and eating several rare now extinct varieties of magic mushrooms found only in select piles of hidden Dinosaur shit usually located under large tree’s fallen by storms with root balls exposed."
Atmosphere quickly morphs from old school Vatican to Green Room Fillmore West Baby!
"Albert king my friend, lets jump right into that thing you did with Janis Joplin and Jimmy Hendrix here at the Fillmore all those years ago, sweetness, "Blues At Sunrise" Quill you come in after Albert kicks it off, ready, one two three.."
"Wait a second Stevie RayVaughn and Albert King and the fucking smoke filled Fillmore West, gotta have camera phone shots of this for my peeps at the Supreme Court, Dali shoot this scene while I roll into this, Sun rises in the East, and its sets in the West, looking for my Baby ain’t found her yet....... Trying to find my Baby, ain’t found her yet..... Take it Stevie Ray........"
"Ain’t nothing but the Blues, next stop Raven’s Haven back home before Court Begins"
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2012
Fallon's earlier and later columns;