Updated
2012-05-02

Swedish version
 

Dan Fallon's World of Fly fishing
 

Column nr. 5 2012  

 

California Stream’s & River’s Open!

  It has been a season of guessing games when it comes to rain fall this year. Early in this season nothing resembling water fell from the sky. Fly fishers and water management were getting a bit tense as reserves began to dwindle, then slam we get several big storms and the rivers streams come alive running deep and fast this 2012 spring. Fast high water means safety first for those who wade fast waters in early spring, most accidents in fly fishing happen in early spring as rivers , streams are at their most dangerous, be careful out there Pilgrims. My advise is to work on long casts from shore working streamers as deep as possible, too early for any nymphing or top water action. Wolly Buggers, Leeches, green, black usual somber dark colors work well now. Attach several bead weights and get that streamer as low as possible and you will catch& release many spring fish my friends! Working streamers in fast deep water takes practice and patience. Begin by throwing near large rocks are along the edges, let the weighted streamer drop before reeling. Learn to count to your self maybe to ten before reeling, then try quick short movements followed by long runs with pauses. Attempt to replicate the movements of small fry, bait fish constantly moving, darting so they don’t get eaten!

  The mysteries of fly fishing can be unraveled simply by learning to observe, learn to sit and just watch the waters your plying my friends, a wealth of information will come your way, just by watching for twenty minutes before you begin throwing and disrupting the natural order. Watch, observe, then begin slowly working all the edges then move into deeper water, it is the way.

  My tactics for early fast deep water work are as follows. Always get to the area before sun up and take time to carefully inspect possible slow currents, feeding lanes, slack water where bigger fish hide and conserve energy usually under rocks or just behind rock and boulders or under fallen trees are exactly where wise old fish live and stay safe conserving vital energy. After careful observation you will have noticed any rising fish ( Unlikely- but they do rise in fast water). Now before any other fly fishers arrive begin working that streamer recommended to you by the locals you were smart enough to speak to at the coffee shop, fly store, stream side. Your odds of success are much greater if you take your time and get there early enough to evaluate before you begin stomping around in your shiny new waders destroying stream beds, disrupting the aqua natural order and sending any possible catch able fish into the next county! If possible sift the water and move rocks to see what the local fish are eating?

  Come Play with Fletcher Quill and his boys in Deep Alaska June 2012 !

  Only a few rooms remain vacant at the remote www.lakemarie.com lodge June 29th - July 7th for the highly possible annual Quill King Salmon shoot out for serious hard core fly fishers who wish to mix it up with Quill’s creator? Oh yeah we will be playing and partying and throwing flies about as insane in the membrane as humanly possible my friends? It’s only eight weeks until the Pioneer Alaskan Wilson family hosts this literary/flyfishy week of taking the author to task in regard to his fly fiction and general give a shit attitude.....

So come on kids, we have room for a few more. The best King Salmon fly fishing in the universe period, small streams packed with kings! Great food, soft clean warm lodge and expert highly trained guides. Lake Marie, the Wilson family John, Mother Marie, David all first class no compromise. Strongly consider this true Alaskan wilderness fly trip 100 miles form Anchorage and one billion miles into the shimmering slippery membrane of Fletcher Quill’s reality, come on lets play in my house Baby! June 29th - July 7th deep Alaska me and you

Written by Dan Fallon 2012
For Dan Fallon's earlier and later columns;
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© Phil Frank 2002

"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
Illustrated By Phil Frank,
San Francisco Chronicle Cartoonist, creator of "Farley"

"The best things carried to excess Are wrong! " Charles Churchill 1731- 1764

  Timba Quill’s true best friend has been attached to his master as the Raven’s Haven revelry slips and slides in and out of the worm hole of Fletcher’s Irish Castle. Guests that include General Duke Parker USMC Active, his most successful one time Holy Man turned Hashish Dealer Dali Lama, several almost dead and long time dead Blues greats are all completely wasted on Stanley Owsley’s best Orange Sunshine 2000 mikes LSD has kicked in 6th gear its all down hill now boys! " Let Innocence Direct Your Desire "Timothy Leary, It has been hard to ignore the Rolling Stones not getting it together for their highly anticipated 50th Anniversary Tour? Though many other super music groups are unhealable, a long list indeed....... Just as Quill and his other best friend Glimmer Twin Glimmer Twin Keith Richards finish Albert Collin’s killer classic "If Trouble Was Money " Quill rolling the Chicago Blues low and slow on his gold key of low ass G Harmonica gift from his old San Francisco running playing mate John Lee Hooker, the mother fucking Hook Baby!!!!!!!

"Keith man, I know your fucking hurting over this no tour dealio Buddy, what we gonna do? Man, don’t want to run this dog tooo hard while were playing my man Albert Collins, lest rolll into his insane " Stormy Monday " gotta have a taste more before we let Drake feed us."

"Blooody piss’s me and Charlie off after getting all the old Stones from Wyman to Mick Taylor, we practice are ass off and now its over, its over partner, over like 60 Minutes is over without the old man, over like Led Zep without Plant, over like GNR without anyone actually? Well we ain’t out of it yet boys! Dali hand me that Gold Bong Buddy, Dali put those fucking Tibet cell phones down for one second and hit this shit Un Holy Man....."

"Oh Thank you Glimmer Twin, yes, this issssss the shit! My young Monks are freaking over my new life style. Can’t get their sweet innocent heads around my metamorphosis into Quill’s outer freak show orbit, Zen’s Master Bad Boy (ZMBB) has shown me the way to true Nirvana! Here Quill you hit this shit, let me play with Timba while these magic colors run round my freed brain buddy!"

"Keith lets do some fucking Allman Brothers before I get into those Feathers from the melting Ice Burg, time to think Fly Fishing Boys, this Debauch must cease soon I’m feared, got to get straight for the Supreme Court mess coming up after the Black Messiah Fly Trip, lots of grown up thinking I’m frayed boys, man, I hate my adult life....."

"Easy Stoner General, Lets do "Whipping Post" Then into " One Way Out " any maybe the spirit of Sky Dawg his self might join us for a fucking medley of "Hoochie Coochie Man" Straight into "Mid Nite Rider and slow it down with" South Bound " Quill get us the fuck into " Whipping Post Stoner General...."

"Drake my fine noble good man, please string up my 8weight Bamboo and throw another together for General Parker , it is Time to see how fat and well colored the Salmon are this Irish season... Better put all those new black and purple streamers I tied yesterday. Maybe give me those new waders.... Parker put on my old waders and meet me in twenty minutes Jar Head, we go a fly fishing as the Lord of Lords kindly has bestowed another morning in paradisio my friend, I’ll have Drake roll a hand full of fatties just in case the schrooms and acid begins to were off Buddy. Here you can use my I Pod it’s loaded with old Chicago Blues from Howlin Wolf to Albert Collins, think a little early killer Stevie Wonder might be in with Mike Bloomfields real early San Francisco shit which was killlller.... See you in twenty Cowboy."

"Drake when Sugar Tits and her girls wake up, have her run the Tarot Cards again on Putangs short term mortality odds , tell her it is priority one, gotta get his package mailed on time this mother fucking time Parker Comprende’ throat cutter?"

"Relax flyman, lets go chase your Irish Salmon Laddy..."

  Just when the salty Irish morning air gathers in the nostrils of General’s parker and Quill relaxed and throwing sweet long loops into perfect Salmon holding water near the castle where creeks and streams are boiling with spring salmon... Fletcher’s top security cell phone explodes, it’s the Black Massiah in full pissed off and ready to kick ass and take names!!!!!!

"Fletcher I know you have not seen the morning news right Marine? Cause I’m now swimming in deep ugly stinky American shit Son! My mother fucking secret service boys, advance party failed to pay for pussy, ain’t that a Bitch! Didn’t they teach you old fucking Jar Head types in Boot Camp to PAY FOR YOUR PUSSY! Now it’s as fucking web viral as the latest photo of some of your Special Ops Brothers standing over remains of a suicide bomber! What the fuck old man! Must be the web and its insane insatable need for endless Bullshit stories right Quill?"

"Man, oh man, that fucking genie is long out the bottle Sir. Mel Gibson answering machine and all the other exploding stars, athletes and countries smashed by the new instant outing vie web and social network. No fucking secrets bout any fucking thang anymore. Just like your one term president gig, a for gone conclusion Baby! Now , I’m hooked up to nice fat healthy spring salmon that just gobbled my Scarlet Streamer, later for the forgone Son..."

"Duke grab the net almost have this beast ready to grass Buddy, look at the bright color, fresh sea run salmon for dinner tonight, Drake will make sure we feast like kings my friend... Duke try my killer streamer, throw a few loops under that little bridge ,just saw two roll there! "

"Oh yeah, bang I’m hooked up give me some room we have a serious salmon fight here Marine!

"Easy Parker, he is getting tired now.... Move him into the shallows and lets do it again. Nice fish Marine! Parker times like this when I think how much more international Bullshit do I need to eat in this life? This Supreme thang keeps getting my way Jar Head, maybe I’ll have Sugar Tits run those tarot cards on my future in the court buddy?"

"Man, you complain all the fucking time bout the court Quill, so quit the mother fucker and stop Bitching Cowboy! What the fuck, they only piss you off most the time. Scalia is on your ass, Kennedy and that fool that never speaks in orals Thomas are a gang looking for your head Marine. Time to get this up or down, you been on the court two years, you will never retire there, we know that, you don’t need the court, so now what..... Tarot cards might be at least a direction."

"Parker, first we do Putang Son. Time to free the Rooskies from the new slave master. We go back to Russia after the fly fishing trip with Black Messiah, just got an E-Mail from Commandant Marine Corps, we both got the 3rd Star Sonny Boy! Lets go get wasted and calibrate..."

"Quill, Dude what the fuck is wrong with this current America Pally? Have all these hypnotized social net work addicted pussy whipped fools actually think real alpha males who risk their lives are not going to pursue and bang as much pussy as possible? What has happened to historical perspective and the Lord given rights that all warriors have indulged and reveled in since we crawled out of fucking caves! Maybe, the volunteer draft would help get this insane stupid mind set fixed! Warriors love to fuck and revel, what the fuck else is there to do after the job is done?"

"You got is Duke, Hell its’s these conservative never leave home town little excuse for American men being raised by overly educated entitled bitches have killed the future generations of males, its just like the fucking barbaric Chinks tossing girl babies into rivers, which they do to this day. American men are going to be fucking extinct soon Cowboy, today we smoke and revel in the name of a dying breed. The bitches and the faggots will end up owning what is left of this tortured Earth, boys like you and me bound for museums Son!"

"So what’s fucking new Frisco Wolf, it is the way endless change as the shimmering carpet of our outer edge existence slips and slides in and out of real time. We both know on one of our more insane trips the road back may evaporate..... You keep getting so philosophical flyman, come on fool, I want a few more salmon for the table. Give me that purple streamer with the long tail thing Son!"

  As the Irish morning Sun begins its pitiful attempt at actual warmth.... A misty haze begins to cover the section of river Quill and Parker are working creating a near perfect sudden moment when Quill’s oldest friends the Fairies will make an rare appearance..... The tiny ones begin to appear dancing gaily encircles and singing in rhymes. Quill gets it quickly and alerts his old less wise friend of what is happening!

"Easy Parker, take your fucking hand off that 44 in your back pocket Son. These boys and girls are old friends of mine, relax and enjoy Cowboy. Hello my friends, long time no play. Give me the magic save we rub in our eye’s to become one of you for a time if you will?"

  The Dreaded Irish Spirit Pooka

"Well, it is you Fletcher Quill mortal that plays with spirits and beasts like I hey mortal man! You notice my disguise that of a colt with chains hanging, rattling, my calling card brings cold chills just like your Pal 666. Now mortal I have news for you and your associate in evil standing with his mouth open. Putang is your crucible , enough said old man? Get back to nine year old fishing games, you been told!"

"Parker you Ok Man? Dude was that fucking weird or what? Glad you were here for this bad ass mother fucker Pooka, legendary Irish nasty spirit can shape shift into any fucking monster like that colt! 666 you around, get your ass back to me quickly, we got the main demon boss in this thang, come on 666 where the fuck are you?"

  666

"Yeah Boyssss, that nasty little Basterd is real deally!!! My people did not have to Psychic Google his ass, we all know the Pooka Beast at his worstest. He was hired to lead the gang that wants you DOA old man. Now time for drastic actions, bold thinking, hard corp pondering boys. We will follow his vapor trail and watch his moves. Time for hasty actions boys, know what I mean jelly bean? This Pooka lives in County Cork, ruins of his once grand castle called Puck’s Castle is his home base boys. Not only can he instant morph. in a split 2nd, he can replicate to infinity as many exact replicant Pooka’s as needed in any situation. This little mother fucker has serious power and digs throwing it around understand. A 1st Grade Devil as nasty as those Bremlin devil bitches or the old school Irish Leprechaun hammering away on shoe after shoe just waiting and plotting to make more riches from your dumb ass!"

"Always a wealth of back alley spirit knowledge my old friend, can’t be more humble, thankful you decided to roll with the Frisco Wolf. Thanks man. Keith you ok man? I know this is a big mouthful to swallow Pilgrim. Lets get back to the castle and have Drake cook one of these fat salmon while we sip ancient whiskey and hit the gold bong Son. We have work to do."

"Dude I flashed back PTSD style to 166 when we were hit like a mother fucker that monsoon rainy ass winter in Viet Nam when we were both teenagers Cowboy. Man, you recall the boys we found in shock not doing anything but crying and hiding like scared babies when the shit was on and were over fucking run, remember how we made those mother fuckers get on their feet and pretend they were real fucking Marine’s or die on the spot as you cocked that fucking M14 and put it in the one poor fools face and gave him the last fuckings rights, you recall that General Fletcher fucking Quill? You do recall that incident Sonny Boy!"

"Fucking A Jar Head, gotta do what has to be done, Marine’s in the killing and dying bidness and last twenty five years bidness has been very , very good. Keep thinking about Michael the most high Arch Angel in my saying, " Cool out old man, take it down ten notches and enjoy what’s left of your long ride..."

(How many more lives for our hero? Has the Supreme Court possibly lost the new Judge?)

 

Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11
12 13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20
21 22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29
30 31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38
39 40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47
48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56
57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65
66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  74
75  76  77  78  79  80  81  82  83
84  85  86  87  88  89  90  91  92
93  94  95  96  97  98  99  100  101
102  103 104 105 106 107 108 109
110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117

 

Written by Dan Fallon 2012
Illustrations by Phil Frank 2003
Photos by Dan Fallon 2012

For Dan Fallon's earlier and later columns;
visit the
table of contents

 

 

Read Dan Fallons biography and contact info

 

 

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