Column nr. 1, 2016
Fly Fishing With
sunny California morning I had been successfully fooling wild
Brook Trout and healthy fat Rainbows at one of my favorite
secret tiny creeks that intertwine Yosemite National Park. When
while walking briskly watching keeping track of the endless
circles of rising fish I suddenly crashed my head into a low
hanging branch and was knocked out off my feet for at least an
hour! While out cold I had this dream...
Slowly I awoke from what
appeared to be a lovely short nap just under a hanging tree limb
when I noticed a long black limo pulling up close to road near
Lake Tanya one of the Parks most cherished lakes named after the
great Indian Chief. My head was sore for some reason and my time
line was off by an hour or so? Before I got myself together and
began tying a new streamer that the Brook trout hit every time.
My black and purple leech pattern never failed when hatches were
scarce. Up walked none other then the reality show Star and
Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump him self
resplendent in his "Make America Great Again Ball Cap" A huge
smile on his tanned face with the perpetual Hawk eyes just slits
where the outside world filtered through into his Billionaire
soul. I was busy tying on the streamer and wiping down my
beloved 4-weight custom Bamboo fly rod as Mr. Trump approached
"Hello fly fishermen. I
see you are equipped with a fine looking Bamboo Rod Sir! My
father had outdoor friends who fly fished and back in my time at
Wharton especially I had many Pals who fly fished wonderful
sport that takes real skills." "Good day Sir. What brings you
into the Park this Holiday season?" "Just taking a brake from
the never ending campaign trail. Giving the old voice some quiet
time. You know watching you throw that line over and over so
perfectly is almost like meditating. Did you tie that streamer?"
"Yes, take a look at my fly box kind of like feather jewelry."
I threw the streamer
several times with no hits as Donald sat and sorted through my
fly box holding the Green and gold attractor streamer up to the
bright Yosemite morning light, "Amazing my wife would love these
dangling from her ear Wolf!" "Let me ask you a few questions
Donald. I do admire your heart and relentless courage saying
things few mortals without unlimited ATM power can only dream!
But, when I hear you throwing dynamite at whole groups of people
and saying rather nasty unkind words about the ladies it does
give me pause Sir."
Just then a Big Rainbow
smacked the Streamer and I set the hook fast and asked Donald if
he would like to take the 4-weight priceless Bamboo and catch
and release his first Yosemite Bow? He smiled widely and those
killer eye slits were burning cold excitement as I handed him
the jumping pulling running one pound wild Rainbow... "Man he
really wants to get loose just like ole Bubba Clinton wants to
get loose back in his old Barn hey Wolf?," "You got that right.
It ain’t Hellery America wants its Bubba. I laugh at the two
wanna be boys chasing you for the nomination. Maybe, let this
fish run a bit longer he is not read to give up yet. Just like
these boys with no experience other then dreaming big dreams."
"You actually stop fly fishing long enough to read the New York
Times hey Wolf? Get your fancy wood net and set this fish free.
That was too much fun. Maybe I should hire you as my full time
fly fishing guide? My jet cross’s more rivers then you ever
seen. Lets catch another. I really like the feel and look of
this old school Bamboo. Think you can find me one like this Mr.
Yosemite?" "I’ll work on it. These handmade Bamboo three piece
rods are as rare as Politicians who are not owned bought by huge
Look at that big rising
Bow near the boulder. Lets see if he might be hungry?" I threw
an easy thirty foot loop three feet up stream of the big Bow and
he quickly hit the stream and began a hard run. Before I hand
you this bad boy I suggest you give him line and try and keep in
the middle away from anything he could get free in... I may be
much too expensive to be your personal guide Donald. I read your
Book "Art of the Deal" Loved the section where your Father
said." "Remember boys men are just like race horses or fine
hunting dogs. The genes are passed on boys. Your both doomed to
succeed and be kings . "Real nice try on recalling that quote,
you got some of it right. Dam. Lost that great fish.
I hate to loose Wolf."
"No worries unlike mortal life next fish is just a cast away
endless supply. We try not to harm these wild fish by using only
barbless hooks and usually playing quickly as not to wear them
out. No waders here in the Park, its all about respect...
Lunch Time Stream
Side With The Donald
Its time for you to
sample some fine California Cheese and wild hog pate’ while I
tie you a special one of a kind "Trump 2016 Streamer to remember
your morning in one of jewels of this world Sir." "Ok, Wolf I’ll
have my boys bring my lunch and we do a stream side potluck. So
you don’t catch kill and eat these wild trout?" "Let them go and
be caught again or never again."
"Reminds me of this
insane quest to be President of this land in such turmoil. Poor
Black and Brown boys and men gunned down like dogs. Is it all
these returned veterans trigger happy shoot first instead of
de-escalating. What the Hell is going on Wolf ?" "No respect for
fellow humans no matter what color is sad state of this union.
Where the Hell did humanity go? Do unto others and all the
kindness of being a mortal man?" "Look at this brand new Trump
2016 Streamer!" "Yeah, that is real colorful just like me Wolf.
Lets talk hanging out in my custom jet and looking for great
rivers to fly fish in San Francisco fly man?"
After along quiet Limo
lunch it was back to the small creek and endless hookups. Before
the Donald drove off to his next campaign stop we shook hands
and he put his hand on my shoulder and said," Listen Wolf you
and me are the same age 68 and we both decided early in life
which path was best and stuck to it! Hell I’m told by my boys in
your world your more famous then I’m. How does Secretary Of The
Interior sound?" "Sounds like more work and less stream time to
me Donald. Lets make a deal New York 5th Ave. Mega powerhouse.
I’ll keep all these wild trout busy avoiding me and maybe you
make this country great again or at least keep Bubba the Hell
out of the White House." Lots of laughing and back slapping as
he grabbed a shiny new "Lets make America Great Again" Ball cap
and signed it "Wolf my main man in wild fish chasing!" Donald
how about taking along look at Sweden or any Nordic country and
see how civilized they always are?" As I walked away the words
of one of my old Marine Corps General’s echoed in my ancient
mind... "If this world ever gets civilized kid we are both out
TRUMP 2016 STREAMER
Thread: Gold silk or cotton
Body: Gold tinsel wrapped loose and full
Wings: One large Orange full dyed marabou and a large
white marabou fluffed
Cheek: Four long grizzly dyed dark orange slightly
Head: dusky thread your choice
The idea here is use your
imagination and make this pattern as loud and gaudy as possible!
Written by Dan Fallon © 2016
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