|Column nr. 3 2007|
Dry Tech Fly Box
Every year without fail I find many so-called new inventions created to make your lives easier fly fisher in my mail box! If I see a newly designed plastic fly rod, I send it back without opening the package, doesn’t matter to me what planet the incredible space age boron came from! I don’t care how many scientists investigated the awesome flex power or the mind boggling tinsel strength.
I love and use fine bamboo only, end of that story. Now every so often a quality fly reel comes along that actually works well, large arbor, heavy sound bearings make a good case for field testing! Mostly the new fly equipment I see each year seems to chase the same bone every other manufacture is after? Rarely do I come across anything really exceptional... The Dry Tech Fly Box is worth writing about because it does exactly as advertised.
I field tested this fly box in rough mid winter conditions and was very pleased when my big Steelhead flies were completely dry not long after closing the box? This quick drying miracle occurred due to Moisture Reduction Technology which dries out wet flies by soaking up moisture and holding it in absorbing crystals. In each fly box a tray of these crystals eliminate all moisture and can be reused by placing the crystals in a micro wave oven after five trips or so. What a great idea this is for hardcore or occasional fly fishers. How many of you have thrown away favorite patterns after finding them a soggy mess, hooks rusted?
I love working dry flies, especially the little #18 or smaller, these flies are delicate anyway! After one or two times on the water they need to be redressed or recycled. This new technology has saved many patterns for me this year by completely drying them in no time. A humidity test strip comes with every fly box which indicates humidity, boxes come in different sizes in water tight rugged high tech plastic. If your tired of losing your best patterns because of moisture, this fly box will save you money and time. Contact Angling Designs www.anglingdesigns.com.
Now that I have made many more friends in the fly fishing industry, perhaps a few choice words about fly reels ! When I’m in the field or lecturing or visiting friends, if the conversation gets around to fly reels, here is my standard philosophy. First take the reel apart and check out the bearing assembly for strength and stoutness? Is the bearing well manufactured, sealed,? Is the reel made of cheap pot metal or cut from high quality aluminum? Spin the reel many times and listen to it, put it to your ear and one can actually hear the sound of well made bearings! Does the reel have any wobble, is the drag mechanism smooth or jerky?
I like large arbor reels as a rule unless it’s a day on small creeks or streams. Large arbors do help getting your line back on quicker! Next I consider the finish and scratch resistance and weight? Modern reel engineers in my mind are actually innovators who keep coming up with ideas that work. These guys impress me each year, especially with the advent of computer technology allowing serious experimentation before manufacturing... Last thought on the endless stream of new revolutionary plastic, carbon fly rods priced in the six hundred or more dollar range, be very careful how you spend your fly dollars Pilgrims, take a hard look at the fly rods in the three hundred dollar class! You won’t be disappointed unless you only fly fish once or twice a year and need all the help you can get?
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
His High Holiness the most noble Dali Lama and his fellow lama’s, Monks have been exceedingly patient in regard to Fletcher Quill’s pathetic influence on the youngsters, especially during chanting and debating! This morning Sere Monastery is on high energy alert because testing on the Pyramid Power Grid is ready to go! Before all parties regroup in the test area Quill’s cell goes off.
"Quill Keith Richards here mate, Mick and I want you to sing backup and blow blues harp on three of the new cuts we are laying down. How about I come to Mongolia and we use the Monastery acoustics dude?"
"No worries pal, Dali will dig it. How goes the endless tour?"
"Were all tired but rockin my man, Mick and Charlie need rest, me and Woody ready to go!"
"Sere Monastery built in 1419 gotta have insane thick walls hey Quill, backup vocalist been bouncing "After Midnight" off those old battlements?"
"Affirmative oh Glimmer Twin, been running these young wannabe monks hard since arrival of course. When you and your axe getting here dude?"
"See you and Dali in two days time."
"Excuse me sir his Highness requests you accompany him to the test area, you slept sound your Holiness?"
"Gotta roll Keith, see ya soon bud."
His High Holiness leads
the optimistic procession into Coqen Hall a four story edifice dedicated to
most sacred, secret activities including daily chanting and debating hall’s.
As the group winds into the cavernous gallery where the entire 5000 square
foot area is taken up with a giant Pyramid Energy Grid consisting of a
carpet of ten inch high perfect miniature pyramids lined up carefully until
every inch of the ancient hall was covered. With the help of 666 and his
otherworldly crew of dead techies, a canopy of windmill generators sensitive
enough to register the movements caused by ten thousand strings hovering
over the power grid. Each string connected to a copper penny so no tricks
can be pulled! Copper will not conduct electricity and will prove it is
solely the movement of the strings and copper pennies that create air
movement and drive the wind generators without any other help. No pollution
is created and the whole assembly is noiseless.... Notes are read by his
Holiness explaining how these giant power grids running only on energy
created by massing pyramids can be assembled and launched into near outer
"Yes we are, remember it is purely the shape of these pyramids that cause the pennies to move! The shape seems to concentrate energy in a way modern scientists never could fathom, much too esoteric for contemporary soulless researchers I suppose?"
With little fanfare a wide curtain hiding the wind generators is opened and the penny connected strings are allowed to begin moving which they do with quickness. The bystanders gasp as the wind generators begin registering and turning while the meter starts to climb. The energy for now is stored in batteries, 666 states he and his boys have created a pond five acres in size where the energy can be easily stored. He claims the pond is full of two inch energy absorbing balls made from charcoal magnetic silica absorbent material extracted from planet Pluto. The balls hold the energy until needed, releasing said energy by way of another 666 invention to be discussed.
"Fletcher please ask 666 if he would show us details of this system in regard to how exactly it was built and what kind of materials are used?"
"666 was adamant only reusable materials are used and he and his associates will be on call as long as needed while the first large scale prototype is built. Mongolian winds with minor adjustments can augment the pyramid energy at peak usage times when winds are strong. The entire operation is quite simple to understand and assemble, no tricks!"
"As you know Fletcher this monastery is dedicated to Sung Khapa Dharma King of great mercy. It must be he who brought you to us. This free non polluting energy will change the world and hopefully stop much of this insane quest for natural resources, we love that aspect of the systems few secrets staying here with us until the whole world can wield this wondrous sword"
"I’m very pleased with this first test, this energy is free and has no side effects of any kind! The ramifications are incredible, countries need not go to war over natural resources. This Holy place will be the only source for this new energy until we work out how to stop greedy humans from making one dime most important!"
"Fletcher your enlightening gifts are humbling, the International Kite Flying event will end our isolation yet preserve our history, your working with 666 to end the insane treatment we have endured is a gift from Sung Khapa a gift of great mercy indeed."
"Sir I prey you never forget why and how these gifts came to be! Our friend old Al Crowly and his boys provided these miracles without any mention of ridiculous future pay backs. Perhaps the Beast will join us and educate?"
"Fletcher, your Holiness my motives are simple. While in my material world skin heart beating all the hungers waging war on my soul. I always held your plight, the insanity your people have endured as a crime against all mankind! Of course I’m no angel, or rather fallen angel. My exploits in human skin are legendary especially with my lady friends.... My published works and access to the Secret Chief’s, Angelic writings, general psychic knowledge surely point to some shred of compassion?"
Before we adjourn your Holiness, may I suggest you bestow the honor of giving our newly minted Shaman Fletcher a Sky Burial when his day arrives? His love of all things living in the natural world is legendary..." (Sky Burial allows birds and whatever to consume you dude!)
"Yes, we will allow Fletcher our Sky Burial, you sir may have redeemed yourself somewhat. Only time will tell! Tonight you are wearing the Sacred Golden Crown at dinner"
The mood is broken when Quill’s cell screams, "Answer me now!"
"Sharon sweety, how are you and Timba fairing dear? Any news from Jive Boy or Jason Aki?"
"Timba is on my lap forgetting all about you, your pathetic posse will be here upon your return they warned me! Now your Lowness, once again I’m dealing with morons trying to buy your Famous Hollywood Female Pubic Hair Streamers. One fool asked if we had any Anna Nicole’s tied yet! Oh my god, how could my career sink so low that I’m now a stooge for a creep like you?"
"Wonderful to hear your voice as well my dear, perhaps if you look in my secret stash safe a small amount of Anna’s may be found? Now, the baby is not mine honey, the sample was sent to me by some idiot Hollywood prince who bought his title. Send the sample to me and I’ll tie up half dozen, sell em for five grand each with authenticity and so forth."
As the procession leaves the test area breaking for the noon meal, young Monks are heard chanting a lilting dirge of their own creation...
"We didn’t do it, the kid is not ours, the Prince did it on a Viagra binge! It makes us cringe!"
"Your influence on these young boys borders on the criminal! I’m afraid my fellow lamas may be running out of patience. Perhaps turning down the volume on your Westernization may help extend your stay my friend!"
"While were on the subject your Holiness, I’m expecting two packages soon. One is special from the family of Mother Theresa, the other our lost Anna Nicol. As they say in New York City business is business. Oh yeah, I may have to bolt Marine Corps green beckons one more time I’m hoping those twenty year olds can keep up with a solid 50 year old two star for a Company Commander? Oh yeah can I take that really nice gold crown you let me wear at the welcoming ceremony or may.
"I see your moral compass is in line with your San Francisco boy Mayor! Have you any idea the age and importance of that golden crown Fletcher? It is so enlightening how you can change hats from Mr. Mother Theresa, Jerry Lewis and then right back into your Arnold suit and off you go looking for hot lead and new adventures, is that about the size of it Mr. Peaceful Shaman?"
(Dali Lama getting tense with our boy? Low blow bringing Boy Mayor into the fray?)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
Written by Dan
Fallon © 2006
For Dan Fallon's earlier
and later columns; visit the table of contents