|Column nr. 5 2006|
of Spring swim in
merry cuckoo, messenger of Spring,
Edmund Spencer 1552-1599
By the end of April most Californian fly fishers are becoming jumpy and either driving to investigate their favorite rivers and streams or working the world wide web for news of water flows and possible early insect hatches... unfortunately every new season brings the sad news of a friend, loved one or animal swept away in deceptively deep fast water.
In my life on many occasions I have been guilty of throwing caution to the wind and taking that next step in fast rivers that could have easily been my last fast step! It is no secret fly fishers are walking disasters loaded down with a lot of gear and strapped into waders that once filled with rushing river water will take you straight to the bottom Mr. Can't Wait for the season to get started. California has been blessed with an above average rain and snow fall this season, all the best fly rivers and streams will be running fast and deep for another two months or more. If your thinking about wading that special section you usually have luck in, better wait until the waters slow down and recedes. If you get in the habit of emptying your fly vest and pockets of all but the absolute necessary equipment and never wading with out first cinching up that waste/belt that came with the waders. Using a wading staff or only wading in areas with fallen log or rock or bushes near by just in case you slip and fall is a good idea. A more prudent safe way to go might be to not wade at all until your absolutely positive of the depth and speed of the water?
Early Spring high fast water related accidents involving amateur and youngster fly fishers are the most common. If you have been working flies on rivers and streams for a short period it is better not to attempt wading at all until later in the season when the flows are less powerful. Some years ago while wading early spring on the Merced River that runs out of Yosemite National Park, a young black lab puppy floated helplessly by. The story had a happy ending as the family jumped in their car and followed the dog until it found solid ground.
Streamers best fast water weapon
April/May can be humbling for all fly fishers because rivers and streams are running so fast insect hatches on the surface mean very little if anything. Resident trout and salmon are seeking the quietest slowest currents near feeding lanes so they can pick and choose from the endless supply of insect matter, worms, anything that looks tasty. Tiny dry flies at times fished just under surface slime under trees or bushes near the waters edge can produce hits. Though use of dry flies is better realized when the weather warms and currents slow down.
Streamers like the pattern featured this month and black, green wooly buggers, matukas in various colors or any of the baitfish patterns that are feathery and move like small bait fry are the best early season fly offerings. More area can be covered with streamers, especially around large rocks or along the edges of rivers where large fish hide waiting for lunch to float by. Learn to match the streamer to local bait fish, change the pattern, or color frequently until you get the one that produces. Then work that pattern up and down the area your working, along all the edges and around rocks. If one remembers all streamer patterns from wolly buggers to your own feathery creations are most effective when they move around quickly darting here and there as a survival technique. Baitfish either exist in large schools where protection is found in large numbers or they learn quickly to evade becoming lunch by moving quickly in flashes. Working your streamer in fast water requires practice as does developing skills imitating live baitfish and understanding your tippit must be much longer to hide your fly line. Streamer work is fun because your constantly moving and re positioning with every cast. Make sure to have a good assortment of colors and streamer styles because every river, stream has its own resident baitfish and once you feel the explosive hit on your own stream pattern you will be hooked on streamers.
Hook: Barbless Long shank Streamer style your choice size.
Thread: Black in front, green in back used very sparingly!
Body: Good quality full Peacock Herl, dull red floss or silk ribbon mid wrap sealed with glue not tied.
Flying Wing: Brown Marabu with several bright thin long red hackle tips tied in for motion flash effect.
Tail: Pheasant Tippets.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
"Between the acting of a dreadful thing and the first motion, all the interim is like a phantasma, or a hideous dream: The genius and the mortal instruments are then in council; and the state of man, like the kingdom, suffers then the nature of insurrection."
Shakespeare 1564- 1616
Morning arrives at castle Raven's Haven like a lucky thief with a sackful of high end booty crawling back by way of mist filled back alleys only he understands... Irish Sea fog and the sounds of hundreds of black winged gull's screaming at the huge off shore bait balls of thousands of sardines three hundred yards due south of the five hundred foot high infamous Fletcher Quill Fly Tying Tower.... Guests are all preoccupied with their own metaphysical menu's as the about to fully materialize ghosts of the most infamous astrologer, magician, friend and co worker of Mr. Kelly who in the mid centuries is purported to have spoken with and consorted with and befriended Michele The Arch Angel and many other known Arch Angels of the highest order. The highest order of angel hierarchy the Seraphim known as the Burning Ones', only the most high Arch Angels Like Michael who is directed by God exist in this exulted rare space. Mr. Kelly and his co worker John Dee delved in other worldly mayhem and direct contact via crystal balls and other methods purported to have witnessed amazing materialization of famous spirits and their helpers, in the guise of little girls, monsters and a whole range of bizarre short term materialization's that allowed him to develop equally bizarre philosophies and theories. The Dali Lama is resting in his luxury suite up all night studying Fletcher Quill's ten year paper titled, Ten Years Of Illuminating Connections Concerning The Influence of Ghost's, Faerie's, Other Worldly Energy Being's that may look and exist in entirely different atmospheres more complex then we can imagine!" Timba, Quill's trusty Abyssinian cat has spent time with his High Holiness...
In the Rock Star Super Sound system suite Keith Richards has spent much of the night dreaming about the great very dear old days when he and his mate "Mr. Jimmy!" also known as the Nankering Grand Master and keeper of the Edith Grove Flat where Mick, Brian, Keith and James Phelge were so hungry they stole food from all their neighbors and usually ate Morgan, Morgan's, a stuffed confection junk food they stole from the guys store who owned their building... Mr. Jimmy ran Hard with all three of the Stones when they were young and starving. One day he welcomed them home from a gig naked with wearing only his under pants over his face, The Phelge was a Wanking Master Mate! (Read James Phelge's latest big seller book titled, "Nankering With The Rolling Stones. The Untold Story" published by Cappella Books Copy Write 1998.)
Jive Boy and his long time best friend and co-invisible surfer dude wave rolling bud Jason Aki have been getting their fly fishing chops together and practicing tying knots and flies as they know Quill will be taking them on a bizarre fly trip via Chopper, submarine, jet or lord only know's what conveyance or destination, soooo better get your gear and be ready as The Wolf as Quill is now being called by Keith may decide its go time any time.....
In the most secure Super Star female wing of Raven's Haven where Sharon Stone and her long time friend, the wayyy to sexy long legged Jennifer from San Diego California, recently tossed off a cool gig handing out tiny silk pillows to spoiled First Class passengers on jets who repeated this phrase over and over, "So what's for dinner Lobster again?" Jennifer is a Uberhotty in every possible way, tall five nine, long ash blond natural hair and a face that says, Your all mine any time I want Cowboy?". OK, She may have bungled a few messages to uneasy passengers with one of her infamous miscue retorts like, "Excuseemwhaa their my little boneappertites. El plano in paino blano, pour some more?" Well bless her after an outburst like that all the men would just drool watching Jenny's rear end shake like a willow tree, baby when she walks she shakes like a willow tree............. ,
Jennifer throws her expensive Prada Handbag down, "One thing right off the top girlfriend what in the hell is this yes master, no master I hear tumbling out of that perfect mouth of your's, dam those genes of your's, your Momma must have sorted out all the very finest of DNA twists and turns before you even stepped into the scene sweet thing!" "I know it kinda comes over me out of know where? Weird huh? So you lost that flying gig over a few bricks you dropped ? I say my latest picture which is doing smashing buffo darling, world wide big numbers, big numbers. I got my ten million up front and stand to make another ten easy in next five years of CD sales foreign alone. Very happy, critics of course hate it, who cares, which way to the ATM baby, you know my saying sweety either get on the bus or as Keith Richards says, "Shove off Mate!" Now where did I recall seeing those pesky Hounds Of Spring that haunt my Spring picnic their Fletcher "Where the Hell you been Boy ?" Quill is back in the house!!!!
Duke Parker ponders his favorite poem while reassembling his high tech Mac 50. Weighs only ten ounces and fires 200 round 50.Caliber clips in three seconds, very nifty when the phone rings, it's the Cowboy, "General Parker, I imagine your all comfy cozy in our Fletcher's's castle hey Marine?"
"Yes sir, its abit early over here all is quiet while going over my weapons just in case."
"Saddle up Marine we have pest removal work for you in Paris on the Montparnasse District 17, in two days you will have two targets, repeat two targets at The Rotund Café. Now repeat that back to me and I will give you your hideout address and chase cars as you will switch cars twice before we pick up. I have sent three new pistols all laser image guides with night scopes to go with your own stuff. Your shooter perch is about three hundred yards with Sun at your rear and a clear street all the way. Get your gear and you ready for chopper pick up in one hour."
"Now repeat. You won't be whacking these two sweet hearts at The Rotund, only following them until you find your best spot Marine. Repeat no whacking at the Rotund Jarhead!"
As the guests begin to awake in the chilly Irish Sea air that moves silently through the eight story castle until its central heating/fireplace system kicks in around 6am. Raven's Haven is in full on major welcoming feast mode, Sharon and staff have spared no expense (none of Timba & Quill"s considerable mountain of off shore cashola Baby!!!)
Morning sound system choices range from early Muddy Water's, early Stone's Aftermath album, Otis Redding live at the Fillmore, The Door's live Hollywood at The Whisky, and Quill's own basement tapes of John Lee Hooker, Mike Bloomfield, Gary Hunter Blues Band featuring Beavis and Pee Wee Baby, Timba on soul vibraphone...
Breakfast will consist of 50 different exotic fruits grown on the castle grounds in Quill's solar paneled hot houses he built to grow herbs, his favorite teas, and Orchids for his Ecebana flower displays that appear through out the castle depending on season. The fruits are sprinkled with wild truffles. Cinnamon, and ice flakes flown in chipped off the most remote glacier Fletcher has glacier water shipped by the barrel to be drunk only with his infamous Single Malt Scotch collection consisting of Clark Gable, Elvis, Sinatra's and several legendary dead mobster's finest single malts sold at estate auctions. Quill's personal favorite is the magnum bottle of Glenlivet 50 year old inscribed, "Only One Chairmen, Only One Friend, Love Dino. Sipping very old peaty single malts over 100 years old while listening to Sinatra pining, " Set em Joe, one more for the road.." makes all of Quill's male guests feel right at home baby....
Special ultra French crepes stuffed with apples, pears, mushrooms, truffles sauteed in brandy, butter, basil, black truffle, 25 year old Jack Daniel's. Sauce is champaign, cream fresh, garlic, vanilla ice cream poured over stuffed crepe. Thirty different home made breads, every possible cheese and wines starting from 1689 French Monastery Merlo, followed by a 1776 American Tribute French Cabernet. Home brews made on the castle grounds mostly in the dark, or robust amber concoctions. All beer's are made with the imported glacial ice, hops and barleys and flavorings like chocolate or licorice are organically grown and harvested locally. Twenty five one ton copper and oak special made barrels are always in fermentation cycle or about to be bottled. This underground beer cavern is just under the indoor Mushroom growing cellar almost one acre in size, over fifty different rare mushrooms and truffles, and other exotic rare foods like mushrooms from on top of volcanoes in Africa that exploded. Quill isolated all species of both black and white truffles and his new genetically improved version truffle is incredible to taste!.
Staff has set up the feasting tables and the flowers are out and Quill's many tame parakeets are out as are the hand raised parrots and of course Timba the head of all house hold pet mayhem either in the air or on the ground.... The 400 inch plasma is set with Tiger Woods about to chock it looking for that darn Masters Green jacket as the image flickers and its non other then The Beast his self 666, Al "Where you been hidden?"
Crowley crazed eyes looking very spacey and wearing that funky New Yorkish looking 1920s hat, "Greetings to all of you way up there or out there or in there???? You sorta get the picture now don't ya kids? Its like this, here is the long and short, Mr. Kelly over there, say hello Mr. Kelly, and your old buddy in psychic investigation The great Queen's Conjurer himself John Dee and I have a deal we know you won't be able to walk away from Mr. Quill. As you understand we are the true most Unholy Triad!"
"I do see old faces from old places. Yes, please do go on and let us all know your thoughts Mr. Beast or do I call you 666? Here gathered are His Holiness the Dali Lama, Fletcher Quill, General Duke Parker, Keith Richards, and Timba the house kitty."
"I have been called many names, personally I like anything Al Pacino does with me in it, the man rocks dudes!! Oh yeah, we are going to offer the Dali Lama another great gift as great as the idea for the Tibet International Metaphysical Kite inventing flying Biannual. We have read Garry Jenkins Book" Colonel Cody and the Flying Cathedral. We understand the power of the wind kite concept having a peaceful conclusion that empowers Tibet to rule itself in peace with nature and gather great fortune via fees collected every festival. Here is our deal for you to ponder. We have the answer to universal free unlimited power, free power anyone any where can have as much as they like for free, for ever for free. It is simply the energy or the power that is generated by the assembly of endless rows of miniature pyramids stacked next to each other. This creates a energy field that comes up and off the tips of this arrangement of shapes, we have isolated and harnessed this new energy. This new source of unlimited energy from the configuration of shapes that are stagnant is an entirely new concept in energy or power Mr. Quill and your Holiness. We have tested this new power it can turn turbans like the wind but with considerable force an create unequaled amounts of pure clean power, more intense and quicker then solar or wind or any anything, and cheap and endless once I explain how it is harnessed... Many other applications exist that produce clean free unlimited energy, no one else on Earth will know this secret but you your Holiness!"
"What do you want here at the cross
roads Mr. Beast? Obviously you have some kind of exchange that we won't be
able to resist like unlimited free new power source? We will ponder your
offer and mean while your all three invited to materialize and join in my
welcome home feast about to begin, come and join us timeless wise ones who
have gazed upon the secrets of the Secret Chiefs
"We want to help run the International Tibet Kite Olympics with his High Holiness of course being Supreme Commander Uber Master of all Kite activities, we just want to form a bridge for future discussions on many subjects..."
"Sounds like our first manager who we had to dump their Mate!"
"I Known Keith, well we will think about your offer and give it all consideration it deserves. Thank you so much for sharing ta, ta or rather come join us if you like?"
Now the party gets started as Sharon arrived wearing all black silk pants outfit, Jennifer in skin tight black tights and high heels walking behind staff pushing a large cart with a perfect green, blue, giant ice sculptor of a forty inch Rainbow Trout sitting in a stream of Beluga Caviar. Quill motions to staff to bring his remote music control and he hits Howling Wolf and Delbert Mc Clenton do Bobby Blue Bland inside out...
The thump, thump sound of Dukes pickup chopper breaks the mood...
(Good Hunting General Parker, pass the bean dip baby!)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
Written by Dan
Fallon © 2006
For Dan Fallon's earlier
and later columns; visit the table of contents