Updated
2009-06-01

Swedish version
 

Dan Fallon's World of Fly fishing
 

Column nr. 6  2009  

   
Blackwater Lodge & Salmon Fishery Ireland

"Romantic Ireland’s dead and gone. Its with O’ leary in the grave...."
W.B. Yeats - Immortal

  This months featured international fly fishing venue exists in a far away place dear to my heart... Yeats was wrong indeed modern Ireland is every bit as romantic and mystical as it ever was! Lets start with the finest single malt whiskey ever produced then there is the since of wildness wind blown sea breezes and endless fly fishing opportunities...

Tired of lodges that are all cooky cutter chasing the same bone Pilgrim? Want to stretch out and smell sea air you never could imagine? How about old world Pub’s full of hearty Irish dish’s you won’t forget!

  Blackwater Lodge located in Upper Ballyduff Waterford Ireland was voted Best fishing guest house/hotel 2006 by United Kingdom Magazine!

Serious international fly fishers heads up, this lodge is carefully maintained and capable of putting you on salmon beats that are tried and true sportsfans. Comfortable suits, excellent indigenous cuisine and world class fly action. In the last month your host Glenda grassed a sweet 12 pound salmon while working the Abbey Island beat, more action of late on Green Bank Upper Kilmurry. Contact Glenda and make reservations (Glenda@ireland-salmon-fishing.net), you won’t regret it!

Access the fly tying room and learn the Irish method laddy! This fly venue is respected and known for putting fly fishers exactly where the salmon run. Most beats are easily wadeable and can be inspected via the web www.ireland-salmon-fishing.net Phone: 00353872351260. Tell Glenda Mr. Wolf sent you.

STEROID NYMPH

Hook: #16 0r #18 Barbless
Thread
: Yellow Silk
Antenna’s
: Two brown hackles
Body
: Thickly wound 18 kt Gold tinsel - wrap lead weight to suit conditions
Thorax
: Dyed yellow thin Pheasant wing tips

*Work this fly deep quick starts long stops- Hold on with both hands Cowboy!

 

© Phil Frank 2002

  "ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
Illustrated By Phil Frank,
San Francisco Chronicle Cartoonist, creator of "Farley "

"Trust thyself: every heart to that string vibrates..."
Ralph Waldo Emmerson Immortal

French song birds echoing and calling fill Fletcher Quill’s ear’s as the morning sun begins to light up the golden blond hair of Nurse Caron still soundly playing in her dreams. Quill and Caron can hear and see large hungry trout hitting surface insects and splashing back into the blue waters. Cook has started morning coffee and pastries for Nurse Caron as is the ritual morning custom of all San Francisco Californication Natives, ice cold bong hits begin every day!

  "General Quill where on earth did you find this incredible blown glass Bong Mr. Fog City legend?

  "I had that made from the broken windshield that I bought on E-Bay that was attached to James Dean bad ass Porsche Spider he bought the farm in at the famous Californication crash sight all those years ago..... Also had old Pigpen’s (Grateful Dead’s 1st lead blues singer) favorite shot glass he drank Southern Comfort with Janis Joplin his old main squeeze in the notorious Frisco Haight Ashbury hood circa 1968 or there abouts. Kinda makes each day begin warm and fuzzy hey Princess????? While we are idling down nostalgia Blvd, back in the ground pounding Marine days all my young officers would partake of the sacred bush before we went out looking for trouble, ahhh the good old days..... (Nurse Caron leans over and blocks out the sun with her 36 double D’s..)

  "Tell me Sir, what exactly are your intentions this morning may I ask? ( Her still perfect face looking most natural thanks to Mac Cosmetics for the girls who stay up very late!)

A cell call quickly breaks the mood- non other then the newly anointed savior of the known world his most high blackness our Commander in Chief......

  "General Quill I know your retired Marine, but your president may have to call on you for consultation when needed."

  "Cut the Bullshit Bam Man, you been playing B Ball with the secret service again and hitting that Chicago smoke you been stashing hey Bammmy? I know you love the Chronic, don’t lie we see those droopy ass eyes dawg on the news. You been into the Chronic like Snoop Dawg into white Tang, uhhh huhhhh....."

  "Shut that nasty ancient hippy dippy LSD soaked west coast white boy trap. Chicago got better smoke then land of fairies and endless lines of entitled blond bitches waiting for Starfucks morning coffee in their Be Be skin tight shirts and delusions of unmitigated need....."

  "You been reading my books again, man why you have so much free time? How about those torture photos your not going to release Dude! They must be bad ass ugly?"

  "Freaking Dark Side bullshit just won’t go away....Man, every day another revelation on the X-VP’s daily war on the Constitution. Looks like on top of the 200 or so he had whacked, the Cowboy was in on all of it of course. What the hell did the VP have on that pathetic fool? You knew him Quill, what is your take Mr. Legend?"

  "Cowboy had and has a shitty relationship with HIS old man is most of it, Mr. Dark Side pulled a lot of strings early on until the Cowboy woke up 2nd term. By then it was too late a lot of damage done to this countries image. Abusive use of the military, multiple tours and no draft to spread the pain was complete bullshit, rich walk and the poor die same old tale. Now you maybe can reverse some of this mess. It does look like the patient has yet to resuscitate and still may go down in flames. Then again I’m only a dumb ass Irish fly fishermen, what do I know? Oh yeah did you read our sweet New York Times Op Ed hotty Maureen Dowd Sunday May 17th 2009, called Capt of the Darkside " Master Of Pain"

  "That’s it tough guy. I’m throwing you a big bone Frisco Man, I’m going to nominate your dumb ass for the Supreme Court. In fact I’m doing that soon as I get off the phone General Quill. Better get ready to come play in the Blackhouse while you go through some nasty ass confirmation son. Those self righteous basterds are going to eat your lunch Cowboy! Master of Pain man I like Dowd that little honky hotty gives no quarter, gotta love that Frisco Fly Man?"

  "Supreme Court, I’m about to head back to Raven’s Haven after two years away and I got this hot new love Nurse Caron to play with. Man, its tempting, its tempting. I still have to whack Putin can’t shake that deal, no way! Where the hell is my James Dean Bong Princess? Tell me its true Nasty Nancy Pelosy has gone up in heavy Alzheimer induced smoke? Poor thing can’t remember a thing..... Dam I loved watching that school marmy self aggrandizing bitch go down!"

Sounds like the DOA & alive magic blues harp players are winding up and its getting loud with Little Walter screaming "Rollin & Tumblin then straight into Big Walter Horton’s "Back Home To Moma". Too much old school Chicago blues for our prodigal son to ignore as he scrambles to find his Hohner Blues Harp in key of C while trying to get rid of the Commander in Chief.........

  "Look here me dead and almost dead blues harp playing mates, lets kick it into Alfred "Blues King" Harris’s killer classic "Miss Ida".... Then if you boys can remember Little Mack Simmon’s Chicago lament killer " Muddy Waters Goin To Run Clear"

  "Where you been dirty old white boy we going to do my main man DOA man Shakey Jake’s "That Ain’t It " then roll into Louie Myers "That’s Alright". Can you do any Charlie Musslwhite stuff honky general? How about that harp player that worked with Magic Dick and the Jake Isles Band, what was his name?....."

Fletcher Quill jams long into the French night as the first hints of another day in paradise creep under the door Nurse Caron appears in one of her heart stopping Pole Dancer ensembles featuring white tight crotch snapped camisole, fresh washed mountains of sweet Blond ( natural of course!)

Hair and enough soft jiggling cleavage to give eye sight to Stevie Wonder and bring Ray Charles back for a week at he Fillmore West... The girl got rhythm, she got back seat rhythm (thanks ACDC )......

  "Come here new owner of my heart, soul, existence.... Sit on my lap and we will entwine like Octo Mom at feeding time! (14 brats???) Have you heard anything else from the girls & boys back on The Farm my Temptress?"

  "Jerry sent me care package, he is so sweet... He say’s your awfully notorious on the midnight shift. Everyone wants all the dirt on you and me Flyman. This morning I threw up sweety, what does that mean?"

  "This Dude Jerry! Was he really busted and thrown out of the military because he gave to many breast adjustments that were not needed? A nasty boy this Jerry, how the hell did he get a gig on The Farm?"

The Farm is a living repository of over achieving beings flourishing in an atmosphere designed for reaching deeper into the human gnome, soul, spirit collective consciousness......

  "Just got word my main Nurse man Jerry was busted banging an awfully accommodating 94 year old in the dirty linen closet (Notorious hook up spot!) It appears an orderly named Raoul heard some unsavory moaning around 3am during his rounds, in his words, " Man, the old gal was ok for 94 but dam Jerry was working the backdoor when I busted them! I did see a fold out of Playboys 1985 Playmate of the year tapped to the fragile elderly back as he went to town...."

  "Nice, love the Farm and its constantly fornicating medical staff. When his ticker starts to flicker your esteemed General Quill will head west Baby. Nurse Caron come over here shiny new squeeze and lets talk about the first thing that pops up? Why is it every killer tight BE BE top you pour into makes you look like your smuggling puppies???? "

  "Quilly did I mention I just got an e-mail from Mac Cosmetics, they want you to be their new spokesmen. That means I get all the free stuff."

  "Ok, bring it....really toooo bad Mac didn’t make Cover Up for liars. Nancy (school marm) Pelosy could use a life time supply ya’ll, "I forgot? Can’t recall, what CIA briefing? The old gal has been sipping way tooo much Californication grapes that explains her early Alzheimer dealy."

  "And so at the time Sir launcelot had the greatest name of any knight Of the world, and most was he honured of high and low... "

  King Arthur & His knights

The French Sun has not been awake more then two hours when a celestial phenomena begins to alter all states of reality! Mercury, Venus, Uranus have in unison caused an eclipse in total as Quill detects the faint odor of ancient sulfur and the finest cannabis.... It is he true brother of the Dark Prince 666.........

  "My my my, what do we have here in frog land - one mesmerized hypnotized Frisco Wolf and his brand spankin new Queen! Have much news for you two debauchers lost in eternal stickiness and wetnessssssss..... Your old Pal’s Duke Parker and Detective 1st Class Gary Hunter (one time front man infamous Gary Hunter Blues band) are thinking the new Queen is cutting into their party time Dude? First bidness a warning! Be careful in your dealing with the new Pres of The Socialist States Of America son. That boy was Chicago raised went to same church the legendary Staple Singers went to. In fact pop Staples hangs with OBAMMMMARAMMA... heard he told the tale of Bobby Zimmerman AKA Bob Dylan asking for his daughters hand.... Lets move on while the sun ain’t beaming. Here in the after world we are watching him close for signs he may be the Anti Christ, if so you better watch your step flyman. Oh yeah, Mr. Prictator Putin is counting on your new squeeze queen teach you how to swim in a car trunk comprende’ Generlaismo Poontange Monster Man (GPMM)

Quick overview of your most sad pathetic Socialist States; Dollar dropping like a rock, inflation pulls into town, those fancy smancy bizzz schools you touted have produced a generation of entitled morally bankrupt selfish fools bathing in the after glow of that Stock broker movie Mikey Douglas made, remember when he said, "Greed is good". These uncivilized cretins went home at night petted their dogs, turned on big screens and slept like babies knowing without a question they were selling their own hearts, souls, country a bad deal! As your poor and uneducated carried weapons and killed innocents in the name of your bullshit illusions of morality that simply did not exist! Time of reckoning has arrived flyman. Your country rotten to the core, your leaders dillatants bent on self aggrandizement only. Funniest aspect for this deadman is the concept of civility and political correctness while the economic butchers cut the dying beast into neatly packaged dirvitives and then fed them to the dumb and dumber until it exploded..... Don’t forget it was your best schools that created these soulless well dressed polite monsters! (SWDPM) Now sanctioned torture, assassination, and your new leader wants to hide the photos and hope it all goes away? Your banks, car builders, even hospitals working for profits??????? The worm has entered the center of the apple my boy."

  "666, how are things back In your underground faerie complex in San Fancisco’s Golden Gate Park?"

  "We have a new priority with you ignorant mortals lying stealing and taking each other to the financial cleaners, wonderful to watch Rome burn while your over dressed ego driven leaders spin like dead leaves on a dying Oak tree.... Like you Fletcher we been toasting marshmallows over the putrid Pelosy career up in smoke fire. That (do it my way!!) bitch is finally reaping what she has sewn, lovely to watch!

(Speaker of what house exactly sugar? Socialist States Of America my Irish ass )

 

Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11
12 13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20
21 22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29
30 31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38
39 40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47
48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56
57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65

66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  74
75  76  77  78  79  80  81  82

 

Written by Dan Fallon 2009
Illustrations by Phil Frank © 2003
Photos by Dan Fallon © 2008

For Dan Fallon's earlier and later columns;
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