|Column nr. 8 2005|
Raven catches them all!
Raven's brought him bread and flesh in the
In my outdoor life good fortune has allowed me to encounter and spend quality fly fishing time with many outstanding talented guides. Men like Gordo Gracey on the Olympic Peninsula and John Wilson of the famed homestead in remote Alaska called Lake Marie. I first met "The Raven" a.k.a. Louie Gonzales at Lake Marie while revisiting this King Salmon fly fisher hot spot where with help of John Wilson I set an unofficial world record for light bamboo fly rods, landing a 34 pound King Salmon with a 5/6 weight Winston Rod Company Bamboo. On the return trip as is usually the case I was turned loose on my own, Louie was my fishing partner rather then guide. It was a fine setup for both of us because instead of holding my hand Louie was free to chase trout, silver salmon, greyling while the two of us had a memorable day.
On the morning the Raven and I left base camp via quad runners and found our completely isolated river boiling with Silver Salmon and hungry trout following along and gorging on fresh salmon eggs. I remember thinking what fun might lie a head that day because the Raven was the real deal when it came to fly fishing and even more important to me that morning he was an intelligent guy with a wonderful sense of humor... By mid morning the Raven had me by ten fish and never let go! We each had a Steller morning of insane steady action that never let up... Twelve noon found us both happy and munching sandwiches while leaning against a fallen log.
Lake Marie Alaska 90 miles inland from Anchorage was and is serious Grizzly Bear country, during my first visit a hungry behemoth attempted to dismantle one young guides small cabin for an opened can of sardines. We encountered 12/14 inch bear tracks coming and going and before the season opened bears had broken into the lodge got in the kitchen flour sack and left very nice flour paw prints all over the large windows inside the lodge. The Wilson brothers John and David left the prints for all of us to savor..
While the Raven and I were lunching, the subject of bears and encounters came up and we both had a tale or two to relate. Of course these stories became more grandiose and chilling as we both attempted to out scare the other! Just as the blood curdling savage beast almost ate me and my dog stuff got real hair raising, a what we imagined seriously big grizzly stepped on and broke a large fallen log or branch near by making a huge crashing sound that elevated me from a sitting position to an airborne posture at least three feet straight up! Well by the time we got back to base camp and I walked into the dining area the Raven had spread the morning's near NASA like lift off of yours truly and provided all with much hilarity...
The Raven is one of those rare fly fishers who have natural skills and innate sensory feel for the sport and it's complexities. I had so much fun with Louie and we had a fly fishing day I will never forget, the Raven does catch them all, all the time! Between the both of us over 100 silvers, trout, greyling were played with and gently let go.
These days one can find The Raven either floating or wading his favorite haunts from the Pecos River in New Mexico or telling tall tales and menacing trout at the S Lazy U Trout Club near Creede Colorado. Louie say's, "6 inch Brown Trout or 18 inch Piggyback Rainbows - it's all good!" From Alaska to the fabled Pecos River, The Raven keeps the Brotherhood of the Long Rod proud of his dedication and respect for the sport. Anyone who throws flies could do worse then spend time in Alaskan wilderness with The Raven.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
As the coal black special ops super silent chopper quietly moves off Sharon Stone's old crib nestled on the toney Sea Cliff outcroppings near Golden Gate Bridge. Slick Brainy (VP) takes a quick visual of the hippy outfits worn by the "Escape From New York Crew" hunchoed by Fletchers old Marine Corp buddy global sniper Duke (1500 yards- one shot one kill) Parker and his team consisting of the two world class invisible surfers (both won Mavericks giant wave slam Half Moon Bay California).
The boys are wearing tie dyed shirts, purple velvet trousers extra wide cuffs and an especially ugly display of various roach clips with all pockets full of Save The Whales, Gay Pride Parade buttons. Their objective is to locate and rescue the Chief who has supposedly been snatched by a rough Haight Ashbury radical group called "The Peoples Only Answer". This leftist cabal directed by two of Quill's old Frisco pal's Shelly (no prisoners) Simon who instigated along with her partner in crime Terry Kennedy the infamous LSD punch bowl spike that started the Cowboy a.k.a. the Chief to mount his wooden stick pony and gallop into the hands of this group of left coast whacko's.
"Ok Slick so what have we really got in the way of Intell on this caper", "Our contact guy is named Tommy he owns a local tourist concern called "Haunted Haight Walking Tour" I tried to raise him on his website at www.HauntedHaight.com this morning, now I'm hoping he is awake as his cell phone 1-800-838-3006 is ringing right now, Tom, good morning sir, Slick Brainy here, you contacted my people with info on the Chiefs captors? So give us what you have", "Glad to assist Mr. Vice President, man, I been busy with the ghosts of Pigpin of the Grateful Dead and the wondering soul of Neal Cassidy haunting the panhandle donut shop. Like I got time to herd tourists all night and keep the otherworldly peace! The group holding your man is holed up at a legendary address 710 Ashbury once headquarters of the Grateful Dead". You're helping to save lives Tom, what can we do for you?" "One small request, please ask Fletcher Quill if I can put his old crib out at the Cliff House on my ghost tour, he has more deceased pissed off female's spooking all who come near and I gotta update my haunted tour!"
Slicks silent chopper lands in the famous Panhandle Golden Gate Park area at the end of Haight Street where ancient hippy relics and psychedelicised ghosts rule the nights. After assembling in the donut shop a few blocks from Quills favorite incense store "Planet Weavers", Slick questions team leader Duke Parker",
"Alright Duke, I know you and Quill can get rough enough if necessary, so what about Jason Aki and Jive Boy?"
"Man, are you kidding, they can become invisible! What the hell else do they need to do? Now here is the way I see this gig coming down, we send Jive and Jason to 710 Ashbury and have them do a careful recon as to weapons, people, booby-traps and so forth. We meet back here in an hour and then its go time!"
What the crew does not know is the Cowboy has charmed his supposed captors into playing five card stud winner takes all, if he wins then they cut him loose no press, no mess! If the peoples gang gets the cards, their demands will be met... An hour goes by and Jason and Jive are smiling that silly smile Quill saw when they took Mavericks two years running!
"Fletcher, dude you won't believe what the Cowboy is up to, we sneak up through and over roofs to get a peak through 710 Ashburys skylight and low and motha humping behold. The Chief wearing what looks like a brand new size 7 Black Resistol cowboy hat cocked on the back of his head playing cards with these creeps?"
"We just heard it's a five card stud no draw, bet your butt kind a dealy. So Jason what's your take on 710 Ash dude?"
"Jive is right, playing cards and laughing his ass off at these wanna be kidnappers, could not believe my eyes. So what's next?"
"Lets saddle up and do along range LURP type recon on this little mess boys."
The Escape from New York crew drops back to around 1800 yards which is the max distance with which duke and his very heavy barreled Remington 700 bolt action equipped with ultra sensitive heat activated trigger system, 80 power night/day/inferred scope set three inches high at point of impact 1500 yards. The long range ultra sniper piece can be broken down into six pieces that fit in Dukes small leather carrying case engraved Gucci Baby! Quill is armed with his special Italian made to his own design light weight laser guided 50 Caliber stainless steel with five point tripod and rock solid recoil eliminator system that allows this 3 thousand yard beast to hit your shoulder like your five year old daughter... The weapon has produced ten inch groups at 3000 yards in light wind standing up baby! Jive has already sat in on several hands with Jason.
"Ok, Here's the 411, this is like a famous eccentric ghost portal, Jack Kerouac, Ken Kesey, Neal Cassidy, Howlin Wolf, Mississippi Fred McDowel, Muddy Waters, None other then Anton levey one time main man San Fran Church Of Satan, High High Highness, Jim Morrison of the Door's Baby whole time humming this way tooo mellow tune while the Chief cleans your pals clocks, Jim lays back singing under his breath "Before you step into unconsciousness, let me have another kiss, another moonlight kiss, and sink into the blisssss, the blisssss..."
"Yeah, we been trying to keep a chart between dukes night scope and my laser heat seeking night scope we count over three hundred distinguished, extinguished ghosts including: John Wayne, Chesty Puller, Dali, Merlin, Elvis, Robbinson Jeffers, Ezra Pound, also thought I saw your pal Hemingway talking to Clark Gable dude."
"Hello, I can see the Chiefs cards , he's holding two ladies and looks like he is about to go all in!"
"Your scope is sharper then mine Duke, now he stands up and shakes hands and heads for the door, lets roll boys!"
As the crew approaches it is clear the Cowboy has it totally under Texas control baby, big grin and walking like a Banty Rooster..."
"Man, that was fun, two days of serious card slamming boys-for a New York minute I thought your girlfriend might of had me by the short and curlies their Mr. Secretary Of The Interior!"
"Long time no see Mr. Bigshot."
"Shelly Baby, I see the balcony as usual is always full girlfriend!"
"Still got one thing on your mind hey genius? Can you look in my eyes when you talk for a change?"
"So Pumpkin, beside for getting sexier by the nano second-what were you thinking getting all strong armory with my main man girlfriend?"
"It was your boys Tommy the ghost hunter and Terry Kennedy, they didn't plan on your boy being a card shark. Oh well back to Ruby's Clay studio in the Castro where they know how to treat special girls special..."
"Slick make sure my new pals Tommy and Terry get my special Goody Bag for loyal Pilgrims- now what kind of fly fishing did you say you had around here Mr. Secretary?"
"Excuse me sir, gotta take this cell might be Sharon, Hi Baby, yeah, yeah miss you too, listen check Oprah on how to handle that all alone thing princess, I have several rare books for you to order for me, first : Monas Heiroglyphica published 1556 by John Dee, Trichilica Inventa Mea 1558 also by John Dee, Encyclopedia Of Angels 1996 By Rosemary Ellen Guiley, World Of Fairies, Gnomes, Elves, and other little people by Thomas Keightlley 1978."
"Ok, listen rocket man, like I'm the star here sport-so what have you done for me lately?"
"I did finish chapter one of my book "Care & Feeding Of Your Blond". It explains my system consisting of two sliding scales of one to ten. The first scale is attractiveness and true blondness. The second scale is energy, intellect, and over all quotient for boredom tolerance."
"Sharon, listen up sunshine, like you're a ten/ten of course you are one of a kindness. But, your blond sisters out there in the vast ugly void are not so blessed!, creatures who are say 8/2 or 9/3. That is very blond and awfully well built and cute, but, alas, dumb as a rock."
"Fletcher lets go dude, the Cowboy say's's Slick Brainy has detected a solid King Salmon run under the Golden Gate Bridge and you Mr. Secretary will be throwing flies at those fifty pound water beasts!"
"Mr. President, sir will you be debriefing us on exactly what you went through the last two days?"
"Absolutely, no big deal, did learn a lot about you left out coasters for sure sportsfan. Shelly and Terry are going to become my west coast advisors with your new boy Tommy Mr. Haunted Haight. Between the three of them, they got this town more wired then you Quill. Slick did you bring my fly rod dude? Lets get ths quiet black bird just under the south tower of the GG and see if we can raise one of those fifty pound 20 year old bad boys. I brought my red maribu streamer and all your flies Quill, so whats new in the world boys?"
The Escape From New York Crew stare in humble servatude as the Chief pulls on his custom Presidential fly wet suit in gold black trim and feeds line through his own Quill Three Piece Traveler as Slicks chopper moves out toward a moon lit Golden Gate Bridge....
"So Quill, what was that first Chaptor in your blond book about dude?"
"Wrestling Kings in the Moon light or left coast lesson's learned?"
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
Written by Dan
Fallon © 2005
For Dan Fallon's earlier
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