|Column nr. 9 2008|
Argentina Fly Adventure
"I want to
know, salt of the roads, show me the spoon-architecture Let me scratch
at the stamens of stone with a little stick, ascend the Rungs of the air
up to the void..."
Argentina land of horses, poets, passion, where the outdoor life is revered and those who follow their dreams are as common as the enduring hospitality nurtured by the most beautiful woman who ever lived...... Fly fishers this place will intrigue, fascinate and capture your wild hearts. If you love fast horses, incredible fly fishing opportunities, feasting with locals who have found the Holy Grail? Happiness, contentment is this possible in these challenging times?
Your fly adventure begins 600 km from Buenos Aires on the fabled Corriente River system a destination famed for world class fly action. Excellent opportunities for Dorado, Pacu, and Surubi. Dorado known as River Tigers (Salminus Maxillosus) the hardest fighting of the game fish in South America! These piscatorial prize fighters take no prisoners, weighing in at a svelte 5 to 18 pounds of mean lean fighting machine baby! You want to bend that tired wrist until it hurts son, you want to stretch out and taste the South American wild, step up, step up...
Located in the northeast of Argentina, Esquina provides sensuous tropical weather during the eight month fishing season, sunsets to be savored. Season is September through May. You will be amazed at the endless fly opportunities as the Corrientes River and its massive delta intertwined with streams, riffles whisper, "Come play with River Tigers!" Your fly guides all seasoned pros know where and when to sample the rivers resident fighters. Better sharpen your fly skills friends, this place will take you to task! Wading on white sandy reaches, listening to bird songs that enchant, smelling wild flowers that dazzle the senses, ahhh such a magic place to chase gamefish and go blind with sensory cornucopia. Contact www.estanciadonjoaquin.com.ar Tell them Mr. Wolf pulled the trigger baby! E-Mail email@example.com.
Those fly fishers who have seen it all, done it all can take deep breath. South America alive and pulsating with outdoor adventures welcomes jaded gringos amigo. Clothing light weight and cool recommended. Equipment first class of course, bring your ten weight and excellent reels or go lighter and then go toe to toe with River Tigers. Flies are Deceiver style, easy to tie. Poppers, deep divers, in yellow, red, black primary colors work best. The usual sun screen, lip stuff, wading gear, insect repellant, so forth. Lighter clothing mandatory. Bring a hat for sure.
Culture Vulture Mecca Baby!
Expect old world Argentinian hospitality to grab your soul.This trip may not be your cup of tea Pilgrim? If your not crazy about food, barbecue, horses, woman, fly fishing in serious wilderness pristine settings? Then perhaps staying home and close to that television while your ever expanding behind and your receding hairline amuse your family may be the ticket?
South Bound Sensibility
One would be well served to prepare to be beguiled and slowed down, way down! The moment you step off the jet in Buenos Aries the party energy will smack that Yankee face cowboy! Stroll into the airport bar, no it ain’t the PlayBoy Club. Extraordinary woman are common eye candy in the tropical zones. Life is slower, food tastes better, cold drinks hit your throat like the night life that friggin dazzles! You like to dance your ass off son, you want to stay up all night and laugh your ass off at your pathetic up tight Yankee ways? You came to the right place. I cannot say this any firmer, this experience will change the way you see your uptight conservative north American crib! These people are happy! They smile at you, ask where your from. That’s right, it’s a whole other way of life Yankee Doodle Dandy..... Leave the hood homey, catch the first thang smokin to Argentina and change that everyday existence sportsfan. Why not! Be very careful Wolf tracks everywhere baby.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
woman, soft hearted man!
E as his close pals referred to the King of Rock N Roll loved his Jungle Room resplendent in tiger skins and all things jungly was a preferred space for reflecting on the most successful insane musical career of all time period! Fletcher Quill and his gang of Quillies are getting acclimated to the southern climate while Graceland haunted by the King and his main boys never stops rolling and tumbling....
"Quillly, the other girls and I have decided to give your little plan, "We are all Mormons now!" a test drive, testing the waters as it were. So tonight it is I who will be keeping you warm in the Kings huge ice cold bedroom. Yeah baby, where he and Cilla (Precilla) would do so many nasty games when she was still just a teenager fresh from Germany. I will be wearing a 1960s school girl uniform Mr. No Viagra..... Think you can come UP with anything vaguely King like old man?"
"Ok, Mutha Superia, you want nasty, you gets it. Did you hear that sound sweety? It’s the big grand piano in the foyer. I think its E baby..."
Quill and the fallen Nun creep up slowly and there he is in blue robe black hair shining looking about 25, thin and toooo handsome. He is playing Amazing Grace and looks like he might be a little lonely.
"Hey you two love birds, welcome to my home son. Heard a bit about you Quill. Dam, your about as crazy as I was pumping corpuscular integrity (being alive!). man, I can’t wait till those twins Lisa Marie is carrying get here. New babies and one of those babies might be equipped with serious Presley genetic vocal pipes, look out now! My America is in deep doo - doo thanks to that cheer leading little banty rooster form Texas. Love how he folded like used Vegas deck when the Rooskies pulled the trigger on those Georgian folk! Dam right Putin is the Anti- Christ. You will have a job going after Mr. KGB son."
"Elvis man I still get gooose bumps thinking about your 1968 come back TV thang,you blew hot coals that night E! Scotty Moore and drummer DJ Fontana kick serious booty. I know Col. Tom Parker did not like that gig?"
"Dam right he didn’t, that old carny hustler told Red and Sonny West to try and talk me out of it. Funny as hell, makes me want to kick Robert Goulets ass when I see that show. We got the ball over the goal post that night I expect."
Memories Rolling Through The Back Alleys Of My Mind
"E was this the room you told Sonny and Red to take out Mike Stone the martial arts Dude that was doing Cilla?"
"Glad we did not do Mr. Stone as planned. Bad thinking mixed with huge ego and the finest pharmaceuticals my America can produce. Remember son if your doctor prescribes it, its ok."
"Sir, your autopsy found over 45 pounds of fecal matter stuck in your intestine. Your system completely shut down! When they found you in your bathroom on the john dead. Your pill habit cost you at least another twenty years."
"I know it, was nothing else to do. No one understands how isolated I was. When Sonny and I went to the White House to see old tricky Dick. Hell that was one of the few times in my life I just got up and went out on my own without the whole crew. Presidential cuff Links for all and of course my Gold Narcotics Badge, Oh yeah baby. Did flash that once or twice. Pulled over some young kid in Memphis for speeding, he went nuts. Funny as hell!"
"E were you elegantly wasted when you and Sonny waltzed into the Oval Office?"
"Son, you ask more questions then my Daddy did when we first killed em Vegas. All those doctors that helped me poison myself to death were flattered and anxious to help... Hell that old dog doctor in Vegas kept the whole friggen strip at about ten thousand feet 24/7. Miss Dr. Nick."
"Hey Fletcher you and the King hanging hey! What about your old Glimmer Twin buddy?"
"You must know all about Mr. Keith Richards hey E? He and his boys just finished the biggest payday tour ever, made around 900 big ones right Keith?"
"OH yeah, the Rolling Bones boys, some of that shit you Brits lay down rocks. Other stuff I can leave. One thing sure you Sir have digested almost as much naughty stuff as the King. Wish Lisa Marie had not married that pathetic slightly effeminate bad dresser Lockwood, he sucks. She could have brought Kid Rock home or maybe that cult of personality boy what’s his name Lenny Kravitz?"
"E Did you know the estate just sold your favorite performing outfit, the Peacock jumpsuit, by by baby..."
"Man, what did old Jerry Garcia say about greed in the music biz? Loved that outfit, they keep selling bits and pieces what the hell will be left for those new twins to enjoy? I paid ten thousand for that, Bill Belew made it. Love Peacocks man. Wanted to wear that in the box at the end...."
It’s Only Rock n Roll But I like It!
Atmosphere sudden metamorphosis, shimmering figures begin to appear around E’s grand piano.... Bo Diddely carrying that box guitar, Little Richard wearing more mascara then Madonnna, Roy Orbison looking fit and sounding great, Big Bopper, Richy Valence, Keith Richards old rock brother Brian Jones on his bad ass mandolin, Jimmy Morrison looking thin to win, Elvis kicks it off with Bo Diddly’s signature opening riff, "I got a cobra snake for necktie, house made of rattle snake hide, who do you love..."
"Elvis, man lets get Red West in here for the harmonizing. Red & Sonny and Joe Esposito are all on the way Pal. Graceland gonna go one more time."
"Old Red could sing, act a little fight like a bad ass Irishmen ought to. Love Red, still remember when I punched poor Sonny in the chops over some little thang we both wanted. That was ugly ass behavior friggin drugs and boooze doing the talking."
"Brian Jones, the REAL Stone. Soooo Bri, what up with being dead so young Dude? You must have watched all your friends slowly disentergrate in the uber fast lane?"
"Man, when are the fans going stop blaming Kieth & Mick for my early drowning exit? It was all my own eccentric doing. I had the talent, musicality down pat, could learn any instrument quickly. Had all the chicks long before Jag off. Hell I was the Rolling Stones just ask Charley or Bill Wyman!"
"Listen Brian everyone here has issues and ego stuff to deal with. We love you, we know who started that money machine, who had the talent first, who was THE ladies man, you son, we all know..."
"Jerry Garcia? Dude that you Captain trips?"
"Hey you guys can’t believe all this bitching and moaning. In San Francisco circa 1960s we had more talent then brains. Grace Slick, Janis, those girls took a back seat to no man. Our home bands, Quick Silver, The Dead, Carlos Santana, The Jefferson Airplane. No body could touch us, no body. When we took the rock train trip through Canada it was Buddy Guy and the Frisco contingent that rocked the entire insane train ride. We ran out of booze and chipped in bought out an entire liquor store, what a ride that was..."
"Plus, you Dude and Those early acid test trip festivals you threw. That cat Bear Owlesly making the best brain food, that cat was off the hook. He only ate milk and meat period. Bobby Weir probably did more then any of us. He had all the chicks as well, after five years he could actually play the guitar. Him and Pigpen were the heart and soul of the first Grateful Dead. Remember Captain trips you said the original Dead was dead?"
Jammin briefly hit pause button celll call from a highly agitated Mrs. Obamarama, " Look here you cracker ass dirty white boy,you gave me wrong directions to Graceland foooool!!! I knew you were dumb ass from the get go and one more thing Mr. Flyman...."
"Hold on, wow! Ms. O if you can’t find Graceland sugar I really got my work cut out? Have you passed the Holmes High School sign yet?"
"Obama going to pay for this screw up white boy-How many others you got staying in the Kings crib?" You know I have very special needs, privacy, Aunt Jammima Syrup and got to have my Jefferson’s as we are alll moving on up to a deluxe apartment called the all most White House! Put Hellery on."
"Hey sweety, this Quill guy gonnna take care of my fat ass or what?
"You will be amazed at the energy that circles that man. His three main squeezes are here with a bunch of jamming dead rock stars. Food is great, keep finding little pills under all the sofa’s what is that about?"
Keith Richards slips into the kitchen and empties the white sparkling contents of three silver boxs into the evening dinner soup and entre. Before the tripple cheese burgers are wolfed this party will be on afterburners.......
"Hey Sharon, you going for the test drive to Mormonville sweety?
"Gold Monkey Blond your next in the Kings bed. Think I’ll take sloopy spent thirds for change of pace. Can’t help admiring the audacaity of that crazy old man. He do love his Blond tang don’t he? All that young shaky pudding has been the best for his recovery. The man’s UNIT is working over time."
"I follow the fallen Nun hey? She will take some steam out of Quilly and bless her he do like that little waif don’t he?"
"Its almost supper time where is that Jerry Garcia dead cat?"
"Right over her honey, where you from Gold Monkey? Quill has a real thing for you I see. Of course he does not understand the basic tenant of Blond existence, Its all about us all the time. Poor man is so romantic, old school romantic like a white boy Rambau. You could have gone all the way. He could NEVER trust you and he is ten years too old and not quite rich enough hey GMB? Still the baddest motherfu-ker you’ll ever hook up with girlfriend. All the other wannbe dogs will NOT measure up baby..."
"Mutha Serena, how do know he is not hip to those realities sweet thang, if any man knows Blonds, its that Bad Ass Irishmen period. He is coool and he knows the rules... You have seen his library more blond tang then in those photos then Saturday night Amsterdam baby!"
Insane off the hook Dinner? Blonds going with the program?
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
Written by Dan Fallon © 2008
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