|Column nr. 9 2009|
Yosemite Fall Fly Nirvana!
"For our country here
at the west of things Is pregnant of dreams; and west of the west I have
Know matter where I roam, know matter how cold the mountain water, know matter how plentiful the wild fish ! In the Fall when colors explode and humans evaporate Yosemite National Park calls me home..... Before I extol the virtues of this majestic fly fisher nirvana as summer winds out. California’s major parks are to be possibly closed after labor day because of insane budget deficits ? It is not clear which parks will be closed and for how long? One aspect is clear and sad to consider, fly fishers, outdoors men, naturalists, bird watchers, kids will suffer greatly!
On the positive side if Yosemite National Park were to close for a year or so? How magnificent for all the critters and wild fish left unmolested for the first time in civilized history? In my fly fisher life the advent of early Fall and changing colors saturated in gold and burnt orange burn in my soul while hunting the many lakes like Tenniya named after the legendary resident Indian Chief. This placid lovely lake has a fine population of both Brook and wild Rainbow. They love to hit well tied mosquitos and chase mid size wolly buggers and various colors. Fly rods can be 5weight or less, I prefer my three piece Bamboo 4 weight. Tippits long and light work best here at dusk and early evening hatches. Those who relish slow crisp Fall mornings keeping a high stealth profile hunting Brookies near the famed Arch Rock entrance where the Merced River head waters begin their descent can be most productive. Near the visitors center about a mile or so before the center one can climb down into large placid pools and watch wild fish rise to well tied grasshoppers, pheasant tails, mosquitos,. My usual set up includes long ten foot light tippits fat realistic grasshopper on top and three to four feet below tied dropper style either a nice golden nymph or San Juan worm or any number of combo platters fly tiers. Stealth true sneaking up on rarely molested wild fish is absolute key to catch and release in California’s premier unsung wild trout fishery. Those interested enter "Trout Take Over Yosemite In The Fall" into any search engine and find definitive, concise information on the fabled parks many fly fisher opportunities.
One can walk about and rejoice in unlimited dry fly action very early and awfully late best of course. Many languid evenings watching Brookies rise to tiny midges and mosquitos near camp grounds while the smell of evening coffee and campfires float all around, a sublime civilized way to end and active fly season among the quiet gods that rule this magic place....... less then half of one percent of the millions who visit Yosemite Park in California have ever seen a fly rod sportsfans? I rarely run into more then a few fellow brothers of the long rod in all the years of wondering around early spring to late fall! Flies must be well tied and smallish, dark brown mottled patterns work best like this months special Joe Jackson Leach, it will produce hits baby! Dress warm it can get cold quickly and bring mosquito repellant leave your watch......
Joe Jackson Leach
Hook: #2-#8 Barbless
*Dedicated to Mickael Jackson’s loving Daddy.
"ADVENTURES OF FLETCHER QUILL"
"Not all the Oceans, nor all the winds can remove
Washington old school are buzzing over the media event of the season as satellite up loading trucks and all the big shot news hounds fight for position this Monday morning awaiting the limo carrying Supreme Court nominee, retired Marine General, past Secretary Of The Interior, International Fly Fishing Master, author, JYD (Junk Yard Dog !) Fletcher Quill.......
The entire event will be broadcast live on HD Radio Hosted by the highly respected voice of the outdoors Jim Furguson http://www.outdoortrailsnetwork.com. Mr. Ferguson attired in what appears to be a cross between early Davy Crockett and contemporary Cowboy is already interviewing nominee Quill’s X girlfriends and rock star associates. As the limos ease up to the Senate secured parking area, a who’s who of Fletcher Quill’s notorious friends and foe are creating flash bulb hell. Martha Steward wearing a lovely dowdy pink (are they ever going to really forgive me??) outfit? Sharon Stone in shiny satin black little dress barely covering her charms, Quill’s latest and hottest girlfriend Nurse Caron hour glass 36 D’s at the ready looking great! A mysterious contingent of woman possibly Quill’s old main squeeze’s exiled back after little too much partying with Mr. Brownstone perhaps? As the Senate staff attempt to find room for this colorful crowd of observers and potential character witness’s including his highest of Holiness’s Man God the 14th Dali Lama and fresh off North Korean Submarine duty Quill’s old Marine Corps Brother General Duke Parker. Trying desperately not to be noticed it appears that famous old California Marine war hero Pistol Pete and his lovely wife want to watch this spectacle not be missed! Jimmy Ferguson takes control for his 10 million audience.
Live HD Radio Broadcast
"Good morning Digital America, I know your asking why in heavens name so much attention is being paid to this particular Supreme Court nominee? Fletcher Quill is first and foremost and international sportsmen fly fisher master fly tier. His being nominated after the Presidents first female nominee went down in flames, especially his not having been an attorney or a judge is unprecedented ! Marine Corps General, friend of the high and mighty and the common man. His reputation speaks for it self, touted to be a Supreme ladies man to be reckoned with! Known to keep company with both deceased and alive Blues & Early Rock legends, master of Raven’s Haven Castle on the edge of Northern Ireland. The castle where Sharon Stone and his beloved cat Timba keep the fires burning. Mr. Quill’s collection of Bamboo Fly Rods and flies thought to be worth millions. A life well lived indeed. That is why we are covering this Supreme Court Confirmation from start to finish. General Quill has requested all proceedings, character witness questioning be broadcast live digital radio, Pod Cast and Twitter. This American sports legend shows respect for the newly hatched web social net work phenomena ! All questions will be public truly unprecedented."
The Senate Assembly Chamber now over filled is brought to complete silence as three known bad boy rock stars slide in singing in perfect harmony a medly of Quill’s favorite tunes. Glimmer Twin long time pal Keith Richards, Guitar killer Slash, long departed but still balls out ACDC frontman Bonn Scott all screaming "Back Door Man" and "Bad To The Bone" lyrics alternating. Slash leans over and whispers to the eyes closed Glimmer Twin, "Dude did you bring the friggin Special cool-aid I had Bear Owsley prepare buddy?"
"Oh yeah we got enough to fry the brains of these aging Senators and anyone else who licks a water glass my friend. Had staff take care of that last night while Quilly was banging Nurse Caron half to death in Lincolns Bedroom at the Black House. That girl do fill sweaters don’t she, dam!"
"Ok man, lets get inside and get a seat by the Radio Dude what’s’s his name Jimmy something or other? Didn’t he tell you the only fish Quill ever caught were at the super market? Give Jimmy some cool-aid first Dude!!!"
"Dude, come on lets grab seats, its about to kick off. I hear Patrick Leahey smacking that gavel."
Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings Begin
"Let the record show on this date August 9th 2009 the United States Senate Supreme Court Confirmation hearing began. For the record General Fletcher Quill retired Marine Corps General, former Secretary of The Interior has requested all proceedings including the usual private chambers questioning be made public. The Senate rules committee has approved this request and allowed HD Radio to broadcast live. I have to say, in all my years in Washington the front row this morning is quite astounding. The Dali lama, two past US. Presidents, Sharon Stone, Four Marine Generals including the legendary Duke Parker! Row two all rock stars and peculiar beings that appear to come in and out of focus? Must be my new contacts? Everyone please be seated, General Quill it is a pleasure to meet you Sir. We will endeavor to give you every benefit of the doubt in regard to your lack of formal law training and your not being a lawyer or a judge. The Constitution clearly states that a Supreme Court Judge need not be a member of the judiciary. Your eclectic background is impressive Sir. We have many questions beginning with character witness’s from your childhood forward. Lets begin."
"Good morning General Quill your reputation has proceeded you! I recall during my 1983 San Francisco reelection campaign you Sir were photographed hanging your mayoral campaign posters all around City Hall a complete disregard for accepted California political law? Can you explain your apparent Cowboy like behavior"
"Ahhhh Diane Fiinsteeen X San Francisco Mayor supreme kiss ass. Before I answer your simplistic opening question, I have an observation in regard to your tenure in my beloved west coast city. I think back to the Dan White shoot out at city hall all those years ago. My best friend was a janitor at San Francisco City Hall. He maintained during the shooting you hid in a closet laughing and having a ball you self righteous bitch! Yes I hung those posters and you did nothing about it in your standard brown nosing attitude Mam!"
"General Quill let me caution you Sir, these proceedings are not designed to allow you to vent personal vendetta’s. Though this Dianne gossip is juicy and totally believable."
"I have many questions Sir. Holy molly was that a mirage or did I just see a line of little fairies running under the main chamber door? Feeling kind of light headed this morning? Sir can you illuminate on your first arrest as a 7 year old impersonating a traveling gynecologist in abandoned homes?"
"I was interested in a medical career and took that calling very seriously. My Christmas Doctors Kit was put to use performing to the best of my limited ability free exams and pap smears for all the forward thinking 12-14 year old girls in my hood. Sooo one day a father got wind and my clinic was closed. My first venture volunteering."
The gallery lets out a collective ewwww! Quill’s X girlfriends look like they are about to go painted toe nail to painted nail as the proceedings begin to heat up.... Jimmy Ferguson tries his best to keep it civil for his vast HD Radio audience is scrambling...
Live Radio Broadcast
"What a starting shot here this morning my friends. General Quill’s early medical training called into question? Traveling pap smears indeed. The ladies in this hallowed chamber are fidgeting like a man tied to the floor face up during a Nancy Pelosi Brazilian.. It ain’t pretty already. You in radio land cannot smell the strong cannabis being puffed in here! Its more like an ACDC concert with the rockers constantly beating a backbeat and humming some awfully nasty lyrics, what a show. This is more fun then my annual King Kong Kansas City Barbecue Smack Down baby!!!"
By the 12 Noon lunch recess the old wood covered Senate Chambers be rocking and rollllin as the special cool-aid kicks in. It appears our awfully dowdy Ms. Feinsteen can’t keep her clothes on as Quill’s medicine rearranges her totally square mind set. She begins unbuttoning her blouse much to the dismay of the hetero gallery...... Pat leahey is tripping with ease as he does with his Grateful Dead playmates. Pat is a long time Dead Head. Linsey (Wise ass!) Graham the southern sourpuss is an old stoner like the new Pres. The gallery is now a solid white cloud of the finest gunga money can buy!
"Our next witness in regard to today’s Supreme Court Confirmation Hearing is General Quill’s oldest and perhaps most knowledgeable childhood compadre’, number # 1, running mate Detective Gary Hunter San Francisco’s most notorious (One time front man Gary Hunter’s Blues Band circa 1970s!) crime fighter. Detective Hunter we have several questions for you Sir. You have sworn to tell the truth about your oldest boy hood friend. Why don’t you relate the first incident that you recall instructed you as to what kind of 14 year old had just moved into your bucolic Cupertino California 1962 neighborhood?"
"That’s easy, I was walking home that summer day in 1962 when I noticed a heated argument that looked as if it might get bad fast. Three local ten speed riding teenage boys were confronting this new kid from fresh from San Francisco’s mean streets and the new guy wasen’t exactly making excuses or backing up!"
"Tell us what you recall over 45 years later that afternoon Detective Hunter?"
"Oh yeah, will never forget that next three seconds. One of the boys got off his shiny new ten speed bike and faster then I could actually see his two front teeth were in his bloody left hand. The other two crusaders were gone instantly. That was my introduction to the future Marine War Hero who became the youngest Marine to serve in the First Marine Expeditionary Force occupation Vietnam 1965. We quickly became friends as I myself had just moved from the roughest hood of all East Palo Alto California we became fast friends.."
"Is it not true Detective Hunter your friend Fletcher Quill has led you into so many ridiculous dangerous drug riddled adventures in your life he is known as Captain Trips for his strong affinity to psychedelic drugs and very busty young blond woman Sir?"
"Yes I suppose we have pushed the Victoria Secrets lace envelope more then once Mam ! Though I recall when you were Mayor of San Francisco and in your omnipotent wiseness decided to lobby for a migration of lower class Russian slime to clog up an already wide open little real law and order city laughed at world wide. You were perfectly copacetic kissing ass with the gay lobby money boys to allow the annual Gay Pride Parade. How wonderful to have and endless parade of bare assed degenerates taking over my sweet hometown! Thanks a lot for all your help in keeping old San Francisco as it was meant to be. Now it’s a laughing stock sanctuary for human side shows. Like Jefferson Starhips Paul Kantner said, "San Francisco an Island surrounded by reality..."
"Sound a little bitter Detective, once again this hearing is not about airing personal vendetta’s Sir. Can you relate one more character defining story about General Quill before we let you go"
Live HD radio baby!
"Sportsfans The atmosphere in these dark wooded once somber chambers has suddenly changed? General Quill is looking for something in his pockets, ahhhh he slowly pulls out and begins spinning a shiny Blues Harp! Committee Chair Patrick Leahey begins pounding out a slow solid back beat as both Slash & Keith Richards begin heading for Quill’s side. Quill lets out a wailing, screaming three note intro and begins the hypnotic Willie Dixon classic "Who Do You Love". Slash and Keith are pounding a vicious in sync beat alla Bow Diddely with the aging hippy senator and folks the party has started..."
The LSD infused Supreme Court Conformation Hearings end with an extended blues jam that has attracted several thousand Washingtonian office slaves swaying to the down and dirty medley highlighted by the nastiest strip tease/pole dancer face off. Featuring Senator Fiensteen and Nurse Caron swinging more sumptous Yankee breast meat then Thankgiving Pilgrims…
(General Quill the next Supream Court Justice? Senator Fiensteen and Nurse Caron kill!)
Read about Fletcher Quill in earlier chapters:
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Written by Dan Fallon © 2009
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